What do you think, feel and do when you consider the refugee situation at the moment? We will all have some awareness about the situation in the world at this time. The media choose to report on certain stories and in the UK our government has decided that bombing Syria will help.

I have been interested in people’s different responses to the situation such as: taking no notice; people absorbed in their own worlds; a vague understanding though ‘it’s far away and doesn’t involve me’; ‘they are all terrorists and out to kill us’; ‘keep them out (and certainly don’t help them)’; ‘I feel powerless and overwhelmed’; ‘what can I do?’; getting involved with various donations, charity etc; and people giving up jobs to go and help.

I invite you to consider what your reaction(s) and action(s) are, or lack of action, and where those reactions come from. Human beings have an amazing capacity for generosity, kindness and compassion and it’s one way that we attach to each other, which is necessary for us as social beings. We would not watch a child we love freeze or starve to death, and yet we will let this happen to children who are strangers.

In September last year the media showed us images of a dead child, dressed in familiar clothing, on a beach. It was shocking, traumatic and terrible and people responded. As a nation many people empathised. We thought of the child, of his life, his death, and his parents.

To empathise is to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes and to imagine what life is like for them. If that person’s experience is painful, traumatic and difficult then that is what we feel as we empathise. Empathy is vital for human beings, for connection, for relationships and for brain development. And sometimes we avoid it because we don’t want to feel the pain, sadness, loss and discomfort and choose to disconnect, blame, fear, distance or ignore.

In 2015 over 3500 men, women and children drowned off the coast of Turkey; very dangerous and disturbing outcomes resulting from desperate choices. Last week another boat sunk and over 30 people died. Amongst them was a young boy whose parents both drowned. He is now in hospital traumatised, isolated and disorientated; he stares blankly at the wall. What will happen to him, how will he deal with such trauma? This is one of thousands of similar stories. What happens for you when you hear that story? If we empathise and connect we are more likely to reach out and help.

In my view it is increased empathy that will create a more peaceful world, not more bombs. It takes courage to truly empathise with others; it is our compassion and empathy that is at the very core of our humanity and our decision to act that can make a difference in the world. We also need to be careful not to traumatise ourselves through doing it. This could just as easily be us. We are privileged to have been born into a country where materialistically we have much more than we need. We don’t have drought, famine, bombing, earthquakes, volcanos, and many of the things that other humans have to contend with.

We have created a world where we use warfare and horror to entertain ourselves. We aim to teach our children the values of living peacefully together and then expose them to video games and films which desensitise us when it comes to reality. The media (led by our appetites) is full of sport, celebrity and TV programmes which can so easily distract us and we forget this continuing crisis.

If you had fled your home and country, lost everything, were cold, hungry, traumatised, scared and desperate, how would you like the world to respond?

Leilani Mitchell Dip. Couns. CTA (P) UKCP Reg. Psychotherapist, TSTA (P)
thelinkcentre.co.uk

There is much we can do
There is a distribution warehouse in Calais who always need help and donations calaid.co.uk

I have set up a wish list in my name, where you can buy things that will go to refugees in crisis. Simply go to the link, put my name in the search bar, and then choose Leilani Mitchell, Crowborough, Sussex, and then you can click on the Wish List.

Leilani is an internationally qualified trainer, supervisor and Psychotherapist. She is Director of The Link Centre, a training centre based in Newick, Sussex that offers courses in personal and professional development as well as longer term courses in Counselling and Psychotherapy. Leilani’s passion is to facilitate people’s self-awareness to enhance their quality of life.