Relationships and Intimacy During Pregnancy

Pregnancy is an exciting time in the life of parents, where a lot of changes will occur in just a short space of time. The body will transform, a whole new person (or persons!) will be added to your family, and relationships will both be strengthened and tested.

Intimacy and relationships do not just happen, but they have to be nurtured. This is especially true during pregnancy, when you will be facing a flurry of new emotions and life situations. 

Don’t Worry, Sex is Not Harmful 

Many couples worry that having sex during the pregnancy can carry risks. But, in almost all cases, it is completely safe for both mother and child. Unless your doctor or midwife says otherwise, you have no major health issues, you and your pregnancy is going as expected, having sex with your partner is actually very healthy! 

Hormones released during sexual activity, including oxytocin, can help improve your overall comfort levels. Your aches and pains will be soothed, and you can attain a general feeling of calm. For many women, it does wonders for sleep. 

Of course, be mindful of potential health considerations. If you are experiencing severe pain, have a history of cervical issues, or you suspect signs of premature labour, contact your OBGYN to discuss your concerns.   

Strengthening Your Relationship 

During pregnancy, the baby is the focus for most couples, and rightfully so. But that does not mean you should ignore your partner, or the intimacy you feel within the relationship. 

Do not count on the wave of happiness from expecting a baby to carry your relationship. Nor should you think that any lack of intimacy is simply temporary, due to the situation. 

Instead, support each other. Keep the romance alive. For example, set date nights. You don’t need to go extravagant and go to a fancy restaurant. Simply having a movie night, with some great food, nice lighting, and time set aside for conversation is enough. It will do much more for your relationship compared to watching Netflix with a TV dinner.  

In addition to sex, explore alternative forms of intimacy. For instance, a massage, cuddling, holding hands like you did when you were teenagers, and kissing. Even subtle, gentle touches can be enough to strengthen your relationship. 

The main thing is honesty. Many partners will keep their feelings inside, because they believe the focus should be 100% on the baby, but this can have a detrimental effect on everyone. Set time aside to talk openly about how you are experiencing the pregnancy, both the good and difficult parts. 

Navigating Relationships with Friends & Family 

During pregnancy, it’s easy to feel like you exist in a little bubble with your baby and partner. In many ways, it’s true, it’s a special time that is not like anything we experience in life. 

But there will be others who will also be excited and wanting to share with you. Generally, this is a good thing, and can help make your life a little easier through practical help. Advice from experienced parents is also very useful, they can prepare you for what is about to come and how best to prepare. 

However, sometimes well-meaning friends and family members can overstep what you are comfortable with. Advice can sometimes feel like criticism, and you don’t always want to have company. 

The important thing to keep in mind is that you have a right to your feelings and your space. If there is something that is becoming a bit of a problem, try and handle it early. Don’t wait until you are ready to explode! Explain in a gentle way, full of love, and those close to you will understand. 

Doing Pregnancy Solo 

For many women, pregnancy is a journey that is done without a partner. There are so many reasons why this is the case, but much of the advice is often geared towards couples. 

And if there is advice for the single mother, it’s often done so in pity or judgment. That’s not fair, because a mother who faces pregnancy alone is brave, capable, and has agency. 

If you are going through pregnancy alone, don’t feel guilty for feeling like it’s difficult. In light of today’s unfair society, we can often overcompensate, trying to prove we can.

But going through pregnancy as part of a community is a fantastic thing, so please speak honestly with friends and family about what you need. Perhaps more importantly, also set boundaries. 

Remember, this pregnancy is yours. It’s a unique journey that is different for every woman. Do not be afraid to be honest with yourself, your partner, and those around you. And chasing intimacy is a good thing, do not worry that it puts your pregnancy in second place. In fact, it’ll be healthy for your baby. 

Photo by Joey Thompson on Unsplash