Have you ever considered learning how to counsel someone? We all receive counsel on a regular basis. Whether it’s advice from a father on how to build a tree house or from your business advisor on what assets to sell or keep, it’s all counsel. But in this case, we’re referring to specific counselling, more specifically, the type of counselling you give to a friend who’s having a tough time. Whether you study counselling or just adapt some of their methods, being able to successfully counsel someone in a social capacity is amazing and beneficial.

In this article, we’ll discuss some of the benefits of learning counselling skills and some of the skills you’ll learn. 

When they need a friend or a counsellor

Just before we get started, we need to clarify that counselling your friends and family through difficult situations is great, but there are times when professional help is needed; know your limits and refer them to a professional. It can be difficult to tell when your mate needs a friend or a counsellor; here are some tips that’ll help you tell the difference:

• When you see signs of persistent sadness or depression
• When the symptoms progress into panic attacks
• If there is substance abuse involved
• In situations where self-harm is suggested
• If your friend experiences trauma, whether physical or emotional

Benefits of using counselling skills in life

Using counselling skills in everyday life will have several benefits for you and those around you; here are some of them:

• You’ll be able to establish better trust and rapport with your friend or client. The stronger the trust, the more they’ll open up
• You’d get a better understanding of the needs of the person you’re working with. What you can and can’t say, and what solutions could help with their issue
• You can explain things like treatments or solutions better to them so they can understand and feel more at ease
• You’ll be able to identify walls and barriers as to why they’re still struggling with issues and address them

What a good counsellor looks like:

In most cases, people become counsellors because they are compassionate and want to help people. If this is you, why not consider studying further? If you have a degree, you could earn a graduate diploma in counselling. At least then, you’d be equipped to help others better. 

There are some essential characteristics that define a good counsellor, so if you strive to counsellor in a social capacity or professionally, try to learn these skills:

Empathetic

Empathy is key to being a successful counsellor. Having the ability to empathise with an individual means that you’re able to understand what they’re feeling as if you were in their shoes. This skill allows you to take a more informed approach because you know what’ll make things worse or better. 

Active listening

Counsellors need to listen to understand, not respond. In a counselling session, you need to pay attention to more than just what the other person is saying; you also need to pay attention to their body language and facial tone. 

This is where paying attention and actively listening comes in handy. By devoting your full attention to your patient or friend, you’ll be able to pick up on the smaller things faster. Plus, when they see you listening intently, it’ll show them that you’re invested in the conversation and build better trust.

Knowing when to stay quiet

This kind of pairs with active listening. There’s a time to give advice and a time to listen; knowing the difference shows maturity and experience. You want the client to feel like they’re in control of the conversation; it is about them, after all, right? You can steer the conversation with appropriate questions but avoid giving your opinion or interrupting them. In the end, you want them to reflect on what’s been said and help them find a solution. 

Knowing the right questions and when to ask them

Still on a similar line as above, but you need to learn what questions to ask and when to ask them. You want to build or keep the relationship you have with the individual you’re counselling, and someone’s questions can cross the line relatively fast. So, gauge the depth of your relationship with them and ask questions appropriately, questions that’ll lead them to a beneficial solution. 

The willingness to learn

This is an important one. Just because you have a counselling degree or you read some stuff about counselling doesn’t mean you have it all right. We all make mistakes, and honestly, humans are so complicated there’s no telling what’ll happen in your sessions. So, be prepared! The best way to do that is to keep learning! As we said earlier, get a graduate diploma in counselling or go on to do your master’s. This way, you’ll ensure that you’re always ready to give your clients the best service possible!

You need to look after yourself

When you work with other people who are going through their own mental struggles and coming to you for counsel, you need to care for your own emotional and physical health, too! Helping others is great, but it can be draining. You might want to feel like you can help them more, but getting too invested is a recipe for disaster. Do some introspection regularly to take stoke of your own health. If you’re struggling emotionally or mentally, the impact on your patients could be catastrophic, and we want to avoid that. So, stay healthy!

Final Thoughts

Counselling skills are an asset to any person’s arsenal, whether you’re a professional or not. Being able to help someone through a tough time is a great skill. One that’ll benefit you and those around you in tough times. If you haven’t started learning how to counsel yet, we suggest you get started. What better way to do so than to dive into books?