We Don’t Need to Find Happiness: Happiness Is the Way 

The conditions for happiness are available to all of us in each moment and in each breath we take. Surprisingly, people can find happiness while experiencing grief, after receiving a frightening diagnosis, or even in the face of death. Often the path to happiness is through mindfulness and meditation, which frees them from being imprisoned by the past or worrying about the future, and helps them enjoy peace, happiness and endless wonder in the present moment.  

For thousands of people throughout the world who have discovered the way to inner peace through the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh, all have a story to share that represents ways in which their lives have been transformed through his clear, commonsense, and compassionate way of being in the world. Despite all the hardships and turmoil we face each day, Thay (the name used by his followers) teaches that “There is no way to happiness; happiness is the way.”  

Because the world needs them right now, we gathered 32 such stories from writers of different nationalities, cultural backgrounds, ages, and identities. They represent a continuation of the teachings of the Buddhist monk and peace activist, and have immediate and lasting value both for people who are familiar with Thay’s teachings and those encountering them for the first time. 

Thich Nhat Hanh was born in Vietnam in 1926. He became a monk who, during the Vietnamese War, combined traditional Buddhist meditation with compassionate action to relieve suffering on both sides. His capacity to hold the suffering of those who caused him and his people so much pain modeled for others how to both work for peace and embody peace. He gained followers worldwide, and offered retreats for Vietnam veterans, law enforcement officials, individuals who were incarcerated, Palestinians and Jewish Israelis, and members of the World Bank and of the US Congress. Thầy passed away in January 2022. 

Mary tells her own story of trying to reconcile her feeling of helplessness as a close friend lay dying. Thay teaches that clarity comes when we calm ourselves, look closely, and listen deeply. Mary knew that her resistance to sitting in the present moment with her pain was because what she’d find there would be filled with intense suffering and pain, so she tried to block it with looking for ways to help her friend.  

But eventually, by calming herself, Mary figured out what to do, and that was to sit peacefully with her beautiful friend. She recalled Thay’s explanation that,  

“The way out is in — to go back to oneself and take care of oneself, learning how to generate a feeling of joy, learning how to generate a feeling of happiness, learning how to handle a painful feeling, a painful emotion. Listening to the suffering allows understanding and compassion to be born. And we suffer less.”  

Some authors’ stories shine light on ugly truths, such as abuse by a religious leader and how, through Thay’s teachings, the author was “dumbstruck by the realization that I had spent my whole life desperately begging God to come to me when all along God, as the Ultimate, the infinite realm beyond birth and death, had never been farther away than my own breath.” 

Other authors shared stories of navigating illness. For example, one author wrote,  

“I received the news that I had metastatic pancreatic cancer. The cancer had already spread to my liver, and my situation was much direr than my first diagnosis had been. Hearing this news, I was able to accept it without resistance. In my mind I felt strong like the mountains and firm like the earth. I was calm, I felt room inside, and I was not crowded by despair or uneasiness. I was open like the ocean. Now I experienced first-hand what I had learned: if you can accept ill health in your body, you suffer much less. I thought to myself, That is it, and there is nothing else to do but breathe.” 

Each story illustrates a way to be okay with strong emotions, wherever and however they arise. Thay’s presence throughout every story reminds us that when we live completely in the present moment, we discover the beauty of what is right in front of us and choose to let our tears water seeds of joy.  

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Written By Jeanine Cogan and Mary Hillebrand 

Jeanine Cogan, Ph.D., is a mindfulness meditation teacher and executive consultant. She earned a PhD in social psychology and has edited two other books and published many articles in academic journals. Mary Hillebrand is a former magazine editor and writer, and is now a teacher and enjoys teaching mindfulness to high school and adult students and other educators. Their new book, Tears Become Rain: Stories of Transformation and Healing Inspired by Thich Nhat Hanh (Parallax Press, Oct. 10, 2023), offers intimate encounters with the wisdom of the most influential monk and peace activist of the past century. Learn more at parallax.org/product/tears-become-rain/.