During the pandemic, online activities increased, not just our own but children too.   I would often question if I were doing the right thing allowing my son to game, however, this was the only interaction he had socially with his friends.  The pressure of Social Media and Apps such as TikTok started to come into play and then mobile phones and discussions around PEGI ratings far outweighed his years.  When did my son decide not to be a footballer but a YouTuber when he grew up!

There were also the opinions of other parents to consider.  Some parents were happy to trust their children to do the right thing.  Other parents just shrugged when I asked “are you ok with our kids being online for so long”, but there were no solutions or agreements on what we should do.

I asked parents about the games or social media platforms their children were using.  I asked a close friend to ask her Daughter about Roblox and who she was playing with.   “Her friends in her class” she confidentially replied.  I then explained the chat option was open and Lilly was talking to strangers, she was eight at the time.

Four years previously to the pandemic I had already started to explore parental controls.  I had this picture of how my family home would operate.  It had a perfect balance between family time and online and then reality struck.  I work full time, two kids, and to be honest, I had no clue what I was doing.  I would have been happy as pretentious as it sounds to pay someone to come into my home pick up all my devices, laptops, game consoles, and set up all the parental controls for me but this was not an option.

Instead, I found myself talking to a colleague at work who had three children and appeared to be the pinnacle parent.  Dave knew everything about technology (he did have his own computer business back in the day, which gave me some hope, that I was not on my own).  Dave was up to speed with what was trending, had parental controls apps installed.  He knew what his kids were playing on, what they were spending, and even had time limits, so they completed their homework and did not complain when it was time to go to bed.  “Really”? I would hear myself say, “no way” but it was true.  Dave would blow me away with his knowledge and how his kids listened as he talked them through any risks.  He was entirely comfortable that he had technology well and truly under control and his family was on board.  Even when he bought his nine-year-old son a mobile phone, I panicked “ridiculous, he can just change the WIFI when he leaves home” Super Dad Dave had an answer, “yes but I would know that”.   I had so many questions, I was not technical and quite frankly at times I was happy to live on the hope that nothing bad would happen, but this was not going to be the case  with Super Dad by my side.

Dave and I spent the next 4 years navigating websites, speaking to schools, and understanding how safeguarding formed part of the curriculum.  We started to understand the challenges between different schools and their demographics, vulnerable children, language barriers and this is before we started to understand challenges around funding.

We held focus groups and spoke to local authorities such as our Nurses and Police who unfortunately dealt with a situation once the damage had been done.  We were exposed to stories of online bullying, grooming, and addiction which was heartbreaking.

Protecting children and safeguarding is now in every business for a reason and we did not make this decision in isolation.  It is evident that there is a gap in parent’s understanding of online risks due to so many platforms available.  Also, the difference in technical ability between parents and knowing what, when, and how to set up the right controls that would suit their family.  I remember sitting in school halls listening to talks and parents desperately asking, “How do I set that up”? “How would I know what to look out for” I don’t understand”.  The parent would often be directed to a website or download an App that told them about the risks but did not walk them through “how” to do it.

In 2020 we decided to help parents/guardians and we committed to focusing on highlighting what parents should look out for and provide How to Guides with step-by-step walkthroughs on trending Apps, Game Consoles, and Smart Devices.

The methodology when designing the tutorials is they are designed for parents by parents.  The layout considers the different levels of confidence guardians have and our structure ensures they are easy to navigate, no matter the age or experience of the viewer.  Auto-translate is also available for parents where English is not their first language.

With so many online platforms, it is difficult to know it all, but this is not a reason to avoid it.  Parents can be part of their child’s digital journey and by employing the same parenting skills, we use offline to keep them safe, such as negotiating boundaries talking about the difficult subjects helps our child to recognise what’s good and bad behaviour.  By setting fair and consistent controls whilst educating on the risks, when they get older, they can assess for themselves whether they are in a risky online place.

As we approach our first year, we have had over 10,000 views and our library continues to expand as more requests come through on what support parents, schools are looking for.  We now wish to reach out to charities, local authorities, businesses where children’s digital well-being and online safety are part of their curriculum or focus.  If we can stay in control of technology, we keep children safe online, not just this generation but future generations too.

If you like what we do and wish to help build the community, please visit our YouTube Channel –  www.netangel.co.uk  or visit us on Facebook – www.facebook.com/designedforparents/