Challenge self-limiting beliefs this February for Boost Your Self Esteem month 

Written by: Dr Amanda Foo-Ryland

For many of us, self-limiting beliefs are instilled into our psyche’s at a young age, and remain with us throughout our adult lives. It is easy to let these self-limiting beliefs hold us back and compromise our self-esteem and our happiness. 

But how can we tackle those negative thoughts that eat away at our self-esteem? 

Here are 3 tips to challenge self-limiting beliefs and boost self-confidence: 

1. Identify the self-limiting beliefs

Where you are in your life right now has been guided by what you believe about yourself; what you believe you can and can’t do. This is why beliefs feel so much like the truth. Your filters – what you look for in life – will support your belief structure.

‘This always happens to me,’ we say, or, ‘Every time I try to… this is what happens.’

If you could believe anything about yourself without fail, what would that be?

• I can do anything I put my mind to
• I am uniquely special
• I am me

Whatever your answer to the question, it will give you an idea of the limiting belief you are wanting to move away from. Sometimes, all we can see are the symptoms of our limiting belief. You will be able to name the symptoms of the limiting belief; you will be able to feel how these show up in your life on a daily basis driven by the limiting belief. It’s probably one of the reasons why you are reading this : you’re trying to move away from these symptoms.

2. Lean into the discomfort of change

Having a problem like a limiting belief feels so permanent that change can seem impossible. In these cases, people often just prefer to keep it. How do I know that? Because when I work with them, some clients won’t go there. Change is frightening, so they would prefer to work with what they perceive the problem to be, but this is only the symptoms of the limiting belief; the leaves of the weed. You have seen the consequences for your life in ten years’ time if you don’t make a change. Let’s look at what that change really means for you if your limiting beliefs feel permanent.

Change is easy once you grasp the fact it comes with a level of discomfort, but this discomfort is only temporary. It is just you connecting with the pain so you can know how to move away from it.

Perhaps what you have tried in the past to help you change has not had a level of discomfort. It has felt familiar and safe – not that I am suggesting you should ever feel unsafe. It is the comfort that is the issue here. When you are in your comfort zone, learning and change elude you. 

3. Investigate your thoughts 

Catch yourself every time you have a negative thought. Stop and, where possible, move yourself from the space that you had the negative thought in. For example, if you are sitting at your desk when you have the thought, stand up and move away from that space. Perhaps stand to the side of your desk.

Then notice what happens when negative self-talk starts. And know that this is just a limiting belief running its usual script. This awareness creates what we call a ’pattern interrupt’. It actually stops the program from running because now you are aware of it whereas before it ran out of conscious awareness.

Conclusion

When we begin to take action to challenge the self-limiting beliefs that we have held for so long, we will begin to grow and thrive in various aspects of our lives. Identifying and addressing the negative thoughts head on is key to boosting our self-esteem and developing self-confidence. 

Dr Amanda Foo-Ryland is a TedX international keynote speaker, coach and best-selling author of Knowing You. She is a neural coding expert, and the founder of Your Life Live it, and together with her team she works with thousands of clients around the globe to help them achieve lasting personal change.