The what, I can hear you all saying?! Surely there are no benefits to the menopause? Isn’t this the time when women of a certain age, dry up, lose their looks, gain weight and become essentially useless in society? Isn’t this transition something to dread, that spells the beginning of the end for millions of women around the world,? We often talk about the “struggles” of the menopause and cautiously wade through lists of scary symptoms, apprehensively waiting for our first hot flush. However in many cultures the menopause is something with which to look forward. Being older, wiser and given more respect is not an integral part of our western society. In the West the menopause is associated with symptoms such as hot flushes and night sweats. Surprisingly, these complaints are not universal, and in fact the main symptoms of menopause vary hugely among different cultures. Anthropologist, Marcha Flint, back in 1970, first attempted to look at the menopausal experiences of women in non-Western cultures. She studied 483 women in India and found that most complained of no symptoms during menopause other than menstrual changes. Ten years later Margaret Lock (Encounters with Ageing. Mythologies of Menopause in Japan and North America) found shoulder stiffness rather than flushes were one of the rare symptoms in Japan. In a study in Hong Kong, researchers found that muscle and joint problems were the most common symptoms. What these studies have in common is that women reported milder symptoms than their western counterparts. The big question of course is why? I think we can safely say that lifestyle plays a larger role than previously thought. We know that hormone levels are largely influenced by how we eat, sleep, and exercise, and many studies have shown a direct relationship between diet and menopause symptoms.

Certainly the East/West divide has often been looked at and studied (for example, the inverse relationship between hot flushes and the amount of soy products consumed in the traditional Japanese diet) but what about a country closer to home like France? The French have a totally different outlook to La Menopause. If you wander round a French pharmacy there are few if any menopausal products for sale. If you get on the subject of vaginal dryness in France, their usual, casual response is that if Monsieur knows what he is doing, then there shouldn’t be a problem! There is something so refreshing about that, the onus not for once, being on a woman’s lack of desire, rather the partners role to create the desire in the first place. Certainly French female film stars have a longer “shelf life” and are revered on the red carpet and in the media far more so than younger actresses. This quote sums up France’s attitude:

“For most French women, menopause involves few symptoms and little change in their social value. The distribution of types of experiences indicate that the differences in symptoms are not biologically determined. A given level of independence and emancipation allows women an identity beyond their reproductive function and a status unimpaired by menopause.” Class Gender and Culture in the experience of menopause. A comparative survey in Tunisia and France. 2012

So, in that positive vein, let’s start with some of the the physical benefits of the menopause. I know it’s obvious, but no more periods, no more PMS and no chance of pregnancy, could all be seen as a huge benefit. I understand that for some women the lack of being able to get pregnant ever again can be a real psychological hurdle, even if they didn’t particular want to have a child or more children in the first place. The choice has been taken away. Men have continued choice about having a child until they die and that quite frankly can grate! However there is the huge benefit of having sex without fear of getting pregnant which lets face it as women we have all faced at one time or another. With children grown up and hopefully having flown the nest, there is more time for uninterrupted sex as well! Additionally a woman’s sex drive can actually increase rather than decrease during this time which is perhaps why there are so many older women with younger men and dating sites like Toyboy Warehouse are on the increase. Women are certainly looking after themselves much better these days and have a younger approach and can find themselves at a sexual peak rather than slump.

If you are a fibroid sufferer, these can shrink during the menopause as they tend to develop when oestrogen levels are high. Migraines caused by hormonal fluctuations can also stop entirely around this time. Although we are bombarded with images of the dreaded middle age spread, recent studies suggest that the menopause is the best time for a woman to get into shape as less oestrogen can promote oxygen uptake in the muscles making workouts more effective. This is a win win situation as the more exercise you do, the more you can alleviate symptoms of low mood and help prevent osteoporosis.

There are huge psychological benefits as well or if I were to be pedantic, psychological opportunities for growth during the menopause. Let’s refute the standardised version of women having sobbing fits for no reason and spiraling into deep depressions. Although this of course can happen, you may find yourself starting to become the better version of yourself – the one you wanted to be when you were 20 yrs old!. Many of my patients and clients tell me that they are suddenly becoming more self assured, more empowered and have more energy. Taking more risks, changing careers and starting new hobbies are all quite common. Often women tell me the psychological benefits outweigh all the physical symptoms. It’s as if the universe or whatever you would like to call the world about you, is telling you that you are now half way through life, so what do you want to do with the time left? It can become a very carpe diem time of life. Don’t be surprised if you start doing more things for yourself and stop wasting time on the trivia of life. Put bluntly if you haven’t already done so, it’s time to out your s***!

If we hadn’t been bought up in a society that shuns the menopause and only knew good things were going happen from hereon in, I am wondering how many of our western symptoms we would actually have. Don’t get me wrong, I am not for one moment saying it is all in our mind, but the fear around menopause itself creates more problems than it solves. Women often ask me, have I ever known anyone go through the menopause with no symptoms. The answer is yes. This answer is both positive and yet to some depressing in its apparent unachievability. However it is certainly not a competition of who goes through best, it’s about the power of a woman to recognise who they are, who they have been and where they are heading. The resurfacing can be unstabling for sure. However potentially understanding that the anger you have may be because you sacrificed your career for your family can be a fairly empowering experience. For friends and family they might see you as more feisty or ratty or damn right pissed off. If you find this happening you, the very nature of your immediate relationships may warrant a revised examination. What you have grown to tolerate might no longer serve your purpose.

There has been quite a flutter in recent years from media personalities forming support groups and more than ever the menopause is being discussed and debated. Mostly inspiring, occasionally questionable. One such discussion focused around menopausal women wearing an M badge whilst travelling on public transport. This was thought to aid understanding if a window needed opening or the person had to sit down. To me this is a poorly thought out idea, due mostly to the fact that the menopause isn’t a disease, it doesn’t need special seats on the tube designed for the elderly, pregnant or disabled. It is not a disability. Whilst others I’m sure found it a great idea, many found it patronising that a woman doesn’t have the capacity to say to someone, excuse me would you mind if I open the window, I feel faint. You don’t have to say you are having a hot flush if that embarrasses you. This does not mean however, that in our relationships/marriages/families we cannot openly discuss the changes happening, lay down new ground rules for family and partners, asking for a little support and understanding.

I had a client last month who told me that her voice had never been heard around her family and she had lost confidence over the years in her ability to lay down boundaries. During the menopause she began to get horrendous hot flushes around those times when she felt as she described it
“ushered to the back burner – where I’d lived most of my life”. Over the subsequent months, she found a new unnerving sense of confidence which allowed her to start standing up for herself. She felt selfish and self centred but persevered and began to lay down healthier boundaries for loved ones and in areas where she felt taken advantage. “Initially I felt like an alien and I think they saw me as something alien too, but I started to get what I truly wanted and needed back”. Her hot flushes vanished.

In her book The Wisdom of the Menopause, Dr Christine Northrup says that:

regardless of where you currently stand in your menstrual or perimenopausal transition, chances are you have inherited a few beliefs about your cycles that boil down to a variation of the following. The issues that arise preternaturally have nothing to do with actual life. There are strictly hormonal. My hormones exist in a universe that it is completely separate from the rest of my life.

Of course this is nonsense, we are a mind body connection and it would be ludicrous to think that our hormones are 100% responsible for all menopausal symptoms. Letting anger (and there is a lot of justifiable menopausal anger) be acknowledged and expressed can be the first step towards a much needed change. Humour, laughter and giggles help enormously. Also moving away from seeing a symptom as horrendous and changing its power and energy upside down by instead asking: have I eaten well today? have I slept enough? am I looking after myself? have I exercised? have I dealt with that row from last night? All this is very alien to a women who has left behind her desires, dreams and most of her self whilst looking after children, parents, partners etc. Putting yourself last during the menopause is not going to get you anywhere.

Everyone’s life journey is different. The menopause is not a time to judge others for taking or not taking HRT, or whatever women need to make the transition easier.The media can often make women turn on women and more often than not I don’t hear enough of the good stuff about menopause.What’s one of the worst things you can say to a menopausal women? Have you tried ……..? These three words drive my clients bonkers! Everyone has an opinion, and this in turn can lead to harsh judgement that a women is not on black cohosh, or isn’t vegan or isn’t on HRT. Time to zip the lip I think and let everyone do their own thing. Changing diet and lifestyle is obviously really important and I can’t emphasise that enough but it’s not the full story, not by a long country mile. I was bought up to fear the menopause, so at the ripe old age of 41 I started to read as much as I could about other ways of looking at this phase of life. When Instagram started I made a point of using it to follow women of 45 rs old plus, showing me what could be achieved. So Elle Macpherson and Kelly Hoppen inspired me to continue to work out and Helen Mirren and Juliette Binoche reinforce elegance. I’m not there yet, but I’m as ready as I can be!

For me the menopause is more of a societal, mental health and feminist issue for it is society that tells us we need to be ashamed of being low in mood, or believe that we are not as useful as we used to be. In her book Change, Women and The Menopause, Germaine Greer says; “that sorrow is not itself evidence of maladjustment, but of the adjustment process itself”. How true.

Most of you out there reading this article, are no doubt wading through various symptoms and yet you are still getting on with your lives. How amazing are you! So, to all women going through this transition, I raise a glass of champagne to you all (or should that be organic, or maybe sulphite free, no hang on, you shouldn’t be drinking alcohol or you’ll pile on weight, what about some nuts… nuts have fat in them…).

For further reading:

Change Women and The Menopause, Germaine Greer.
The Wisdom of Menopause, Dr Christine Northrup

For those interested in attending a Menopause Event in 2019 in Eastbourne, please email your interest to katenut@aol.com and we will send you details as soon as we can. It will be a fabulous day full of amazing speakers, help and support.

For further help or support please contact Kate at katenut@aol.com or 01323 310532 or www.katearnoldnutrition.co.uk