From busy mums in the café to executives in the boardroom, stress is an accepted part of life. For some it’s a desirable badge of success, others recognise the way stress blocks enjoyment of life and stores up health problems. So what is it? And how can we transform the stress of our lives?
Stress is the gap between where we are and where we want to be. It represents a lack; we lack time, skill, motivation, control. Stress is a re-banding of fear, it is acceptable to refer to ‘stress’ whereas to have ‘fears’ can sound weak. Though underlying the stress will be a fear – what if…(you fill in the blank)….? Although it might not be comfortable to admit we are afraid, facing our fear can actually be a liberating experience. By seeing it clearly, it may lose some of its power. We can examine the fear by asking ourselves: Is what we’re afraid of a likely consequence or outcome of the action/non-action we’re taking? Are there other more likely consequences/outcomes? Could we lessen our fear’s impact by having an alternative plan?
Once we have some practical actions in place, we feel more in control and the fear subsides.
For example – What if I miss this deadline? My fear is I’ll be fired, I’ll go bankrupt and then my family will be out on the streets. Is this likely? Probably not! Are other outcomes more likely? Yes, my boss would probably be really concerned and we’d have to have a meeting.
Could I lessen its impact? Yes, by having insurance and/or savings I could reduce the risk of going bankrupt. By updating my CV and making sure my skills are up to date I’d be prepared if I lost my job. And building the relationship with my boss would make talking to her about my deadlines easier. Getting better at time management would help avoid the situation in the first place.
We can get addicted to the adrenaline stress releases in our bodies so, like changing any habit, we need to replace old habits with new ones and give them time to embed.
Stress may be based on day-to-day situations such as this the tight deadline mentioned above or it might be the big picture, deeper stress that comes from not being true to ourselves in our work or relationships. Keeping up an act causes stress. In this case it is important to get back in touch with your passions and your creativity so you can be truthful with yourself and others.
I hope this has given you some ideas. If you’d like to talk about your stress, do get in touch
Life Coach – Debbie Reeds Debbie@soulsanook.com 07702 737019
