Why I left a six-figure salary to build a business that rewards movement

I was 19 when my dad died. He was 57.

He was a provider, the kind of father a lot of us millennials grew up with, out before we woke up, home in time for dinner, working hard so we didn't have to worry. What took him wasn't one dramatic thing. It was years of having an inactive lifestyle and drinking a bit too much, quietly compounding until there was no way back.

That has stayed with me ever since. It's why I walked away from a six figure salary in recruitment to build a new business from scratch that rewards everyday movement.

Recruitment was good to me, but it's a long hours, high pressure world. Early starts, late finishes and targets that reset every month. Nights out ran late and the drinking came with them. For years I measured success in the obvious ways, the salary and the next deal, and my own health was an afterthought.

Becoming a dad myself changed that. Looking at my own kids, I could see the pattern I'd lived through when I was 19, a busy man telling himself he'd sort his health out later. I didn't want to wait. So I started small. I cut back on the late nights, started running, and built a gym in our garage so there was no excuse not to train. Moving first thing became a non-negotiable.

The more my priorities shifted, the clearer it became that recruitment was no longer for me. Although it paid well it wasn't what motivated me or got me out of bed. Having an impact on people's health was. So I left a good paying salary and co-founded incentifi, because I've seen up close what happens when people don't look after themselves.

I'd be lying if I said the switch made life easier. Ironically, my stress was lower in recruitment, it was my lifestyle that wasn't working. Now it's the other way round. I'm fitter than I've been in years, but building something from scratch as the new kid on the block is a completely different kind of pressure. There's no established name behind me, no guaranteed pay cheque, and every big decision lands with me.

On top of this, I’m a dad of two young kids and that is a full time job of its own. My son does jiu-jitsu three evenings a week, so a good chunk of my time is spent driving to classes and supporting him.

Like a lot of parents I know, I feel squeezed in every direction, time, money, energy. I rarely saw my dad in the mornings, and I want my kids to get more of me than that. But being more present while building a business means something has to give, and I'm still working out what. 

With National Work Life Week just behind us, I wanted to share an honest look at how I juggle work and family life day to day, along with a few practical takeaways that hopefully might help other parents navigate the same balancing act.

You have more time than you think

The thing I hear most is, "I've got kids, I don't have time to look after myself." I get it. But try this test: how much Netflix did you watch last week? You do have time. You're just choosing what to do with it. Rest matters, but if you can binge a series, you can find 20 minutes to move or do something for you. 

Starting a business has made me even more deliberate about where my time goes. I can't do everything, so I'm ruthless about what matters, the work that moves the business forward, time with my family, and looking after myself.

And kids aren't the reason you can't. They're the reason you should.

Consistency and movement is key 

What keeps me level is moving. If I go a few days without training, I'm climbing the walls. Once I've moved, I feel like myself again, and I'm a better founder, husband and dad for it.

The trick isn't doing loads, it's doing a little, every day. Most days that means protecting a short window to train first thing, putting my energy into the work that actually moves the business forward, and being properly present when I'm with the kids. Some days are brilliant and plenty are average, but they all count.

The business works the same way. Nobody builds a company in a month, and it's easy to compare yourself with others who seem miles ahead. I've stopped doing that. The only person I compare myself with now is me from last year, and at work, at home and in my health, I'm heading the right way.

Protect your headspace

When you're running a business, your head is your most important asset, and what you feed it matters as much as what you eat. I have cleared out of my social feeds, and removed anything that left me feeling negative about myself. That sort of content rubs off on you without you noticing.

I also often go on a run or walk without headphones. No podcast, no playlist, just my breathing and whatever's around me. It's the closest I get to meditation, and it's often where I work through the problems I've been stuck on at my desk. It sounds daft until you try it.

Find your people

In your twenties you had a busy social life and friends who kept you accountable. Then kids arrive and that quietly disappears, especially for men.

It's important to rebuild it on purpose. So, I started a Telegram group for dads in my area to meet up, go for a run, or seek advice. It's now 800 men strong, sharing wins, struggles and the odd terrible meme. It's the support network we used to get without even trying.

Forget balance

Honestly, I don't believe in work life balance, not when you're building a new business. Something always has to give. What I do believe in is a strong support network. I’m thankful I have a supportive wife at home. Some weeks one of us carries more, and that's fine, because we're pulling in the same direction.

That's also why you have to prioritise your own health, for the sake of your partner too. People often think that's selfish. It isn't. Looking after yourself means you have more to give to the people who matter most.

By Paul Kelbie, co-founder of incentifi 

Paul Kelbie is the co-founder of incentifi, a wellbeing platform that helps pay for your holidays. An entrepreneur who previously built and ran his own recruitment business, Paul, along with his co-founder James Barrington-Madders, is now on a mission to tackle the £150bn annual cost of poor employee health to the UK economy. They recently closed a £150K pre-seed round with backing from ex-Deliveroo and Bioniq COO James Hardy, signed Healf as a brand partner, and are now preparing for their official launch.