When a Good Night's Sleep Feels Out of Reach

It was 3 am, and I was wide awake, staring at the ceiling again!

Does this ever happen to you?

Maybe you have trouble falling asleep, or you might find it difficult to sleep through the entire night.

Whatever it is, insomnia, in any form, is absolutely no fun.

When Sleep Becomes a Struggle

I have never been an especially sound sleeper. I've always had trouble falling asleep and am easily awakened at night. I usually managed to get back to sleep. Until I couldn't.

The truth is that stress has always been a big part of my everyday life, and it often interfered with my sleep routine.

Maybe I didn't get everything done that I needed to that day, and nighttime took my overflow. I was also raising two kids and had a household that required a lot of my time and energy. Nighttime became my solace, and a private moment of sacred decompression.

Little did I know I was creating habits that made sound sleep harder to achieve.

I was no newbie to sleep issues. When I was in college, I stopped sleeping altogether for many months in a row! I went to doctors and sleep specialists and eventually even had a sleep study. I did get support, resources, and a wonderful book called 'No More Sleepless Nights' that helped me get back on top of my sleep again, for quite some time.

But the reality was that I continued to stay up late and wake up early. I had learned to live on 4-6 hours of sleep for decades.

Then I experienced something traumatic, and my sleep became worse than ever. For about a year, I sometimes slept and only a few hours on two or three nights a week.

I would fall asleep, wake in the middle of the night, and find myself unable to get back to sleep. I tried everything I could think of for support: lavender, melatonin, herbal sleep combinations, slumber teas, magnesium cream, vibration stickers. Nothing seemed to help.

There I was staring at the ceiling again, wide awake, night after night.

The Hidden Cost of Poor Sleep

Anyone who has experienced this knows exactly how deeply it can begin to affect day-to-day living. Your thinking becomes less clear, your patience wears thin, physical pain can feel more intense, and your moods become less dependable.

Losing consistent sleep can also affect your driving abilities. It can impair your attention, reaction time, and judgment. These are all crucial to a safe driving experience.

The National Institute of Health explains these effects of sleep deficiency in this article all about health effects of sleep deprivation.

That one really got me thinking.

The thing is that our ability to compensate for something in our life is uncanny. We can become so accustomed to being tired that it starts to feel normal, even when it is affecting us more than we may realize.

Why Quality Sleep Matters

If there was one thing in my life I needed to focus on improving, it would be sound sleep.

Because good sleep helps you feel settled in your body. It is a crucial part of the foundation from which we live our everyday lives.

I wish our society recognized more thoughtfully the importance of good, sound sleep for whole-body wellness.

A well-rested person may feel more grounded, confident, present, and productive. An overly tired or sleep-deprived person may find daily challenges harder to manage and become more easily distracted.

Sleep supports memory, learning, immune function, and the healthy regulation of many body processes. The NIH explains why sleep is important to overall health.

Yes, it is quite amazing to think about just how much can be supported by habits that give us the chance to fall asleep, stay asleep, and wake up actually feeling more restored.

Everyday Habits That Support Better Sleep

Here are ten ways you can bring more intention to your sleep routine:

1. Create a bedtime routine that allows you to go to sleep and wake up at approximately the same time every day.

2. Pay attention to whether your bedtime actually fits your natural sleep cycle. Going to bed before you're truly sleepy may mean more time lying awake or a night of restless sleep.

3. Gift yourself enough time for sleep. Many people need at least 7 hours per night, but the ideal bedtime is not the same for everyone. Take the time to find out what exact wake and sleep schedule is best for you.

4. Move your body and naturally de-stress! Walking, dancing, or whatever type of movement you prefer can absolutely help support sleep and help you manage stress.

5. If you find sleep is an issue... avoid daytime napping, caffeine (especially later in the day), and other energy drinks.

6. Permit yourself to rest well. Create a positive expectation about your nightly slumber without putting pressure on yourself to sleep.

7. Consider a sleep mantra or affirmation before bed. Here is one by the lovely Louise Hay: “I lovingly release the day and slip into peaceful sleep, knowing tomorrow will take care of itself.”

The Lay of the Land

8. Make your bedroom as restful as possible. Comfortable, quiet, dark, and with a temperature that works for you. And if you are very sensitive, you might also consider moving anything that is plugged in or has an electrical current away from your sleeping head.

9. Reduce distractions from screens and notifications at night. You might even want to silence your phone or keep it out of reach. Some people are sensitive to Wi-Fi, and turning that off during sleep hours or keeping it away from your bedroom can also be helpful.

10. If possible, move your cellphone and laptop out of your bedroom – if that isn't possible, consider setting them aside, silencing alerts, or even switching to airplane mode.

Creating a Sleep Routine That Works for You

Having a consistent rhythm or routine for sleep – sometimes called sleep hygiene – is definitely something to work toward. Setting your body up to know what to expect as bedtime approaches can be an extremely helpful strategy in and of itself.

Be conscious of your evening wind-down. Maybe it's drinking a special tea, brushing your teeth, then reciting a sleepy time blessing. Maybe you read a little before bed or find that you do well with a guided meditation to slow your energy down for the night.

I invite you to take a moment now to think about what this could look like for you. Can you designate three to five small practices to make your evening feel more restful?

The bottom line is that everyone is different. What helps one may not be so effective for someone else. Please be patient with yourself as you investigate this and be willing to try different approaches.

And if sleep continues to be difficult or is affecting your daily life, consider speaking with a healthcare professional. Chronic insomnia often benefits from targeted treatment rather than sleep habits alone.

Better sleep doesn't always begin with a complete overhaul of your life. Sometimes it begins with just one small change and the willingness to make rest a priority. What might that look like for you tonight?

If you'd like a little support as you create a more peaceful evening routine, I welcome you to try my Nighttime Chakra Meditation, created to help you slow down and prepare for rest.