“The stars appear to us as if they are never moving, and yet, they are in a cosmic dance. As the earth rotates, the stars change their position in the sky,” the Elder said.

“They sometimes leave our sight, but they never disappear.

They simply move on to another part of the world as the seasons change.”

–– From the fable Starlight, Twentyone Olive Trees––A mother’s walk through the grief of Suicide to Hope and Healing, by Laura Formentini

I have found that losing ones we love is like being unable to see our favorite constellations in the sky. Just because we can no longer see them, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t present in our lives. They are simply out of our sight. It is perhaps one of life’s most profound experiences to feel the love of those we’ve lost more deeply after their death in indescribable ways. I’m an author, a nonprofit photographer, and activist who has worked all over the world. Seemingly everywhere I go, I encounter ordinary people who’ve transformed their grief into something beautiful.

LOVE IN ACTION

I had the pleasure of meeting Rev. Anne Mugane, known as Mama John, during what would be the sunset of her life. She was the founder and director of Merciful Redeemer Children’s Home outside of Nairobi, Kenya. Her vision and burden had always been to reach out to the needy and less fortunate in society. The home began when she took in one orphaned baby a decade ago.

When I arrived at Merciful Redeemer in February 2018 for our first and only meeting, Mama John greeted me with her signature smile, saying “Karibu.” Welcome, in English. She wore a gorgeous dress covered in yellow flowers, the very symbol of happiness. I remember witnessing what felt like prayer after touring the school that day.

Mama John turned to the nearly 100 children gathered before us and said, “Remember what I’m telling you. God accomplishes His plan in His own way! We might not know when or how. He has his own timing. We are expecting miracles! We are expecting miracles from today!” And she received the miracles she talked about just like she said––not in her way or her timing. So, did I.

Later during afternoon tea, she had a simple request. “I wonder, would you consider no longer being a sponsor but rather to run the orphanage?”

I nearly dropped my teacup. “Me?”

“You,” she said with a smile.

My immediate response was, oh I don’t know, something like WWWWHHHAAATTT?

I don’t know how to run an orphanage! Especially an orphanage in Africa where I don’t speak the language? She must be joking.

The expectation of miracles is a powerful practice. Do you expect them? Believe me, miracles and encounters with the Divine were the last things I expected on my travels around the world. But they showed up everywhere. I’m still struggling with what to do with these encounters because I’m not a religious person. But I do have faith in something I call Love in Action which is the act of doing good things for those in need. It gave me the courage to say yes to Mama John when I would have said no. She died six months later.

KEEPING THE FAITH

Faith Maloney, one of the founders of the Best Friends Animal Sanctuary, covered a wide variety of topics at the How to Start and Run an Animal Sanctuary workshop I attended. She’d co-created the sanctuary 35 years ago with a handful of other friends out of a desire to make a lasting, positive impact in the world.

I’ll never forget how amazing it felt to listen to Faith’s story, someone who’d accomplished something so huge, with no expertise or workshops to support the ambitious project. It woke me up to the fact that because she did it, I might be able to embark on something equally impactful one day. Her story also planted the seed that people who accomplish great things rarely know the details of how to accomplish them at the beginning of their journey. They just follow where the path leads.

After listening to Faith’s story, my determination to save animals grew stronger. In time, I would co-found my own animal sanctuary and discover that anything can be accomplished, if we possess a burning desire to do it, persist on the follow-through, and take risks (albeit calculated) that definitely take us way out of our comfort zones. It took around ten years before Best Friends finally became successful. During that time, Faith and her friends found themselves on a rocky road full of obstacles and hiccups. A pattern familiar to anyone embarking on a big goal––lots of going two steps forward and one step back––along with the roller coaster of emotional turmoil that comes with embarking upon and creating something soambitious.

A HUMAN RESPONSIBILITY

In Ethiopia I received the news that my son had taken his life on the other side of the planet. His name was Blaise and he was an incredibly sweet, generous, and ultra-sensitive soul. After I received the call that would change my life, I will never forget how an Ethiopian stranger named Assefa held my hand until it was time for me to board my plane to go back to the United States and bury my son. Every few minutes Assefa asked me in his beautiful Amharic language, the official language of Ethiopia, “Are you okay?”

While I was completely distraught thinking about how I would manage on the desperately long trip back (Addis Ababa-Dublin-Boston-Denver) without going crazy, his presence immediately became my lifeline. He met me as I shivered, shook and cried, not knowing what to do, how to handle the very long trip back, and also not knowing how he would handle the situation with me.

When I asked him why he took such good care of me when he didn’t even know me, he answered in his sweet voice, “I didn’t do anything special, Laura! It was my human responsibility.” And that’s what motivated me to write 21 Olive Trees. I have a human responsibility to lift up as many people with these fables as possible and give people something to hold during their darkness, like he held me, so they can glow once again, or find the wisdom they need to glow even brighter.

It’s my belief that, like Mama John, anybody can create something beautiful out of their pain to become all that they can be, even during these challenging times. Assefa and Faith have also taught me how people have a tremendous capacity to help transform the pain of others into something beautiful too. When we become aware and own our experience, we can cast our fears aside once and for all. I believe there is a hero inside each one of us wanting to join in the cosmic dance.