Shared Household Responsibility Could Save Your Marriage
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- July 30, 2025
Many couples don’t realize that the resentment brewing over an overflowing laundry basket or a perpetually empty fridge can be damaging. When a marriage starts to feel one-sided, it creates emotional distance that’s hard to bridge. In a recent article in the New York Times, Amy Shearn believes she has found the very thing that can save your marriage: sharing parental responsibility equally.
Some legal professionals are encouraging couples to take a closer look at how responsibilities are divided before things reach a breaking point. At The Florida Probate & Family Law Firm, we have seen firsthand how proactive conversations around shared responsibilities can shift the dynamics of a struggling marriage and, sometimes, prevent a divorce.
It Works in Other Relationships
This realization came by accident, and it can be correct to say that it didn’t save her marriage, but Shearn claims her life is much better now. The motivation for her divorce was the realization that there wasn’t an alignment between her soul and her husband’s or the concept of marriage in its traditional sense.
Every parent wants to spend as much time as they can with their children without limitations on when they can do so. So, the most challenging aspect of the divorce for Shearn was spending less time than she wanted with her children. However, rather than fight over it, she and her husband decided to pursue a joint custody arrangement.
During the first few years, not being with her children when she wanted to was a big deal. However, after getting used to the arrangement, she now believes a responsibility-sharing arrangement can help save marriages. It may be easier for same-sex couples because they find ways of dividing household responsibilities based on availability and preferences rather than traditional gender roles.
Gender Roles Unfair to Women
In most modern families, both partners work full-time jobs. But the woman’s job extends beyond the office. She has to care for the children, clean the house, and cook dinner, while the husband often kicks off his shoes and settles on the couch.
This unequal distribution of household responsibilities is linked to depression, marital dissatisfaction, and divorce. Unfortunately, these unequal allocations favor men, leaving women on the receiving end. Some women feel like having a man in the household increases their workload.
Married couples should learn to share these responsibilities and allow each other time to themselves. No one has to feel like they are helping the other. For example, a husband doing the dishes or laundry may feel like he is helping his wife with her chores, while, in reality, he is simply being an adult and fulfilling his responsibilities.
It Could Work Pre-Divorce
It is not until a divorce that ends in joint custody that men start doing some of these things, forced by the law and the demands of parenting. While women may suffer financially after a divorce, especially if they depend on their husbands for financial support, they cope much better than men, who have to learn the basics of raising children.
Moms have laid their lives on the altar of raising their kids for far too long, sacrificing their ambitions for the sake of their family. Most women getting married today have been raised at a time with the promise of equal opportunities in the workplace and marriage. As such, it is no surprise that more women are now initiating divorces than they ever have. The solution to longer-lasting marriages could be to meet their expectations of shared responsibilities.
Conclusion
Creating a partnership where both partners share responsibilities, whether that’s childcare or housework, can be a powerful way to strengthen a marriage. Couples who openly communicate and divide responsibilities may find themselves less resentful, more connected, and better equipped to face life’s challenges together. While many relationships reach a breaking point due to the strain of unbalanced roles, taking proactive steps can make all the difference.
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