A quiet revolution in how men rest, reflect, and reset

Let’s be honest, relaxation retreats aren’t the typical topic of conversation between men. But with more of us feeling burnt out, isolated, or wanting to explore parts of our own mental health, maybe it’s exactly what we should be talking about. Now, most men, when imagining a male-only retreat, will picture logging wood, building campfires, some sort of an initiation into manhood. Perhaps there’ll be a masterclass in manspreading, where they’ll learn how to truly bottle up their feelings. The ancient history of the bicep curl and a step-by-step guide on the perfect chat-up-line. 

Okay, perhaps I over-did the stereotype, but there’s a reason these cliches exist. Easy, accessible information about wellness retreats designed specifically for men doesn’t exist, and this gap speaks volumes about how masculinity isn’t taken seriously when used in the same sentence as wellness. 

Masculinity is a word tossed between conversations; with a definition most men can’t agree on. In a world where we as men are taught to stay strong and toughen up, but encouraged to open up about our feelings, it’s no surprise that we’re confused on what being a man looks like nowadays. 

A survey by Priory Private Healthcare found, that of 1,000 men, 40% have never spoken to anyone about their mental health. 29% say they’re too embarrassed to speak about it, and 20% claim there is a negative stigma surrounding this issue. With nearly half of the men surveyed reporting that they choose to bottle their feelings, it’s clear that there is a lack of safe spaces these men can escape to and focus on their mental health. 

What is a men’s retreat and what to expect?

So, what actually is a men’s retreat? According to Book Retreats, the world’s premier retreat site, “Men’s retreats offer an environment where you can experience a deeper understanding of being a man, support for personal growth, and space for reflection and connection with like-minded individuals.”

Curiosity vs Cynicism 

Vulnerability can be extremely difficult for those who’ve kept a hard barrier in front of their feelings for most of their life, so naturally there will be scepticism in the idea of opening up in front of a group of men. An anonymous Reddit user expressed his views by saying, “If you have to spend thousands of dollars to find yourself, it’s 100% a scam.” This highlights the lack of awareness for cheaper alternatives that more retreats are now offering. With a few simple searches you can find hundreds of retreats with prices varying from £4,000 down to an £80 weekend getaway. With such variety in retreats, finding your perfect retreat is easy to personalise, it just depends on what you wish to get out of the retreat. 

On one men’s forum, someone described what they hoped from a retreat: “A vacation… isolated from temptations… healthy food… nature… maybe some yoga…” Whatever it may be that you want to explore about yourself, there will be something out there for you, and the brilliant thing about a retreat is that you know that you’re not alone. If you have the fear of opening up, odds are that someone else on the retreat does too. By opening that door, you’re inviting yourself into a brand-new world you may not know existed. A once-sceptical man who attended the Cornwall-based “Both Sides” retreat was unexpectedly moved by the emotional openness and found himself leading journaling sessions soon after. Jumping in can often lead to the most refreshing waters, so if you’re thinking about attending a men’s retreat, there are thousands of people who said it was the best thing they’ve ever done. 

Which retreat should you choose?

The purpose of a retreat is to escape from your daily struggles, while learning how to better yourself and come back feeling ready to conquer what’s next. This in mind, the list below shows the plethora of retreats there are to choose from Spiritual Retreats, Mental Health Retreats, Christian Retreats, Gay Retreats, Fitness/Adventure Retreats

The rise of the men’s retreat

There is clear evidence that a shifting perspective is happening when it comes to men taking their mental health seriously. And it’s not just anecdotal. Bookings for men’s wellness holidays have soared by 42% since 2010 (according to Paul Joseph of Health and Fitness Travel), while spa visits by men have nearly doubled since 2005 — clear signs that men are opening to wellbeing in new ways. The market for men’s retreats is huge at the moment with more men wanting to better themselves and find out more of what it means to be a man.

A Typical Day

According to Book Retreats UK, a typical day at a men’s retreat looks something like this:

7.30 am – Morning Meditation and Pranayama

8.30 am – Group breakfast, coffee and snacks. 

10 am – Morning hike 

Midday – Ice bath and sauna 

1 pm – Drum Circle and Singing/Chanting 

2 pm – Group lunch, coffee and snacks. 

3 pm – Eye gazing and ecstatic dance

4.30 pm – Lecture and discussion 

6 pm – Recreational time, lessons, games, competitions, visit local attractions. 

8 pm – Group dinner and herbal tea

9.15 pm – Yoga Nidra and Sound bath 

10 pm – Lights out 

Eye gazing and sound baths? Not quite the wood-chopping, manspreading scenario really, is it? Although, who would say no to nice sauna!

Locations

Scenery is a pivotal part of the escapism that retreats offer. Picture a sandy, coastal path leading to woodland trails. The soft breeze of the wind whispering at your neck. No beeping or buzzing, no stress or urges to pick up the phone. It’s about peeling back the layers of your everyday norm and entering something relaxing, grounding. Human. Picture the soft white sand beneath your feet, or the quiet hum of wildlife in Thailand. Scenery to pull you closer to real life. A retreat should feel like a treat.

Community

Humans are designed to be surrounded by other people. Think back to cavemen times, when community meant survival. Retreats take you back to basics and fill you with a sense of belonging. To be a part of a group, whether that be sharing circles, emotional workshops, or communal meals, is key to stripping back stigmatised toxicity. 

Health

Men’s Retreats are both mentally and physically healing. You can expect self-reflection exercises and emotional breakthroughs, ice baths for recovery and mental strength, as well as moments of release to let go of your personal shackles that have been holding you back.

Maybe retreats aren’t about finding a different version of yourself, but simply giving the version you already are, the space to breathe.

Written By: Jacob Dolley