Lighten the Stress of the Holidays

Emotions are high at this time of year. We’re in “the most wonderful time of the year,” yet many don’t feel happy, they feel stressed. We have a lot to do and little time to do it. We can’t get to everything and, as a result, we’re anxious. 

How do others look so put together on their Facebook page when we’re drowning? Don’t be fooled. Like ducks, they appear at peace but underneath the surface they’re scrambling to survive.

During this time and when we’re encountering so much stress, keep these tips in mind to get through this hectic time with grace. 

1. Observe your thoughts – Be a curious observer and recognize what you’re feeling. The first step in addressing your emotions is observing them. Don’t try to shove them away or ignore them. Feelings are your bodies way of releasing built up energy. We’re human and we have feelings and thoughts that need to be addressed. Not only is it normal for these feelings to well up, it’s what makes us part of the human race. 

Also, keep in mind that we have a natural negativity bias and tend to dwell on worse-case scenarios for any situation. We let our emotions and not the facts dictate our lives. This causes us to worry excessively and become anxious. That’s why it’s especially important that we pause these thoughts, recognize them, and refocus. Negative thoughts don’t serve us. They spiral and make anxiety worse. Interrupt this pattern by telling it to STOP. It’s you taking control of the negative thoughts that can so easily take over.

2. Practice self-care – With the hustle and bustle of all that’s going on at this time of year, it’s easy to neglect taking care of ourselves. Yet to turn stress into joy, we need to make self-care a priority. This can mean different things to different people. Try to establish a self-care ritual or dedicated time for being together with loved or visiting the gym. Commit to doing whatever that something is that fills your bucket and satisfies you. 

Essentially, taking care of yourself not only feels good, it’s necessary. It’s like sleep. It’s required. It keeps you calm and at peace so that you’re better able to be present instead of spinning out of control. What’s more, you can only take care of others if you take care of yourself. 

3. Live in faith, not in fear – We’re dealing with a lot right now. As we try to take on so much, we need to stay confident that everything will work out. Know that regardless of what happens, it will all be okay. Aggressively protect yourself from negativity and make positivity your priority. 

Think of situations that feel better. Instead of thinking the worst, think of the best-case scenario. For example, if you’re concerned about family members clashing at the holiday dinner table, think about how it would look if they don’t clash, they get along, and they enjoy one another’s company. Isn’t that thought “lighter?” Doesn’t it put less stress on the situation? Remember that your anxious thoughts don’t change the outcome. 

4. Make a plan – Anxiety and stress result when a stressor isn’t addressed. Devising a plan for the holidays helps alleviate the stress. Create lists. Come up with plans for how to navigate situations. 

The key is to not take things so seriously. Lighten up. You’ll feel better and so will others. And, if things don’t go as you had planned, remember that it’s okay. 

5. Express gratitude A sure way to alleviate stress is to reflect on all that you have to be grateful for. We need to incorporate gratitude and appreciation into our lives to see it in a positive light. Finding both the large and the small ways in which we’re fortunate in our lives will help to make us resilient regardless of the stress of the holidays. 

Instead of worrying about clashes at your holiday table, you are grateful that you have the means to provide a holiday feast. Anxiety and worry are replaced with your lens of gratitude.

During this holiday season, become deliberate and thoughtful in your actions. While taking these actions to get you through, remember that everyone is doing their best — as are you.

Written By: Laura Gabayan

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Dr. Laura Gabayan is a world-renowned physician, researcher, and Pyschology Today contributor. Through her Wisdom Research Project, she interviewed 60 wise adults across North America and defined eight fundamental elements of wisdom. She describes her findings in her new book, Common Wisdom: 8 Scientific Elements of a Meaningful Life (Redwood Publishing, March 17, 2024), and Common Wisdom Journal (Dec. 2024). For more information, visit lauragabayan.com.