Making changes

Break through. Get started. Here’s how.
When it comes to making changes in our lives, one of the hardest things can be to make a start. We might be great at starting projects at work or for other people, but when something is personal and has meaning for us – like finding the work of our dreams, taking more care of ourselves or learning something new – we can suddenly find ourselves putting it off and making excuses. The longer we do this, the more resistance builds up. 

Here are three suggestions to help you get going…. 
 
Drop the shoulds

When you feel you should be able to move forward with something but your actions aren’t flowing, it is good to enquire if this is something you really desire or if it is something you are doing to please others or ‘fit in’. The sooner you start pleasing yourself, the easier and more rewarding life gets. Tune into your intuition, notice what brings you joy and follow your heart.
 
Side-line your perfectionist

Your desire to do things perfectly can build projects up in your mind until they become far too daunting to tackle. If you find yourself anticipating problems and fixating on a very specific end result, your tight control and judgements might not be serving you. Take a step back and reconnect with the reason you want to do this, how do you want to feel? Like on a car, headlights just light up the road immediately ahead, so define what the first step is and focus on taking just that step. Notice any negative thoughts that come up, thank them for their input but don’t let them run the show.
 
Find the middle way

People who say they are lazy and find it hard to leave their comfy place usually have a pattern of being really hard on themselves, working into a frenzy and then indulging themselves to compensate. This swinging between harsh and soft ways of motivating yourself keeps you thoroughly stuck. Rather than thinking you need to make this hard work, what would be a moderate plan? Break the task down into manageable chunks rather than setting yourself up for exhaustion. Focus on balance.
 
This autumn I will be running a six-week programme to support people who are making a fresh start in some area of their lives. Visit deborahreeds.com for full details and the sequel blog article, ‘Keep Going. Don’t give up!’
 
Deborah Reeds
deborahreeds.com
sea-sky.co.uk

(image courtesy of Freepik)

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Our Editorial Team are writers and experts in their field. Their views and opinions may not always be the views of Wellbeing Magazine. If you are under the direction of medical supervision please speak to your doctor or therapist before following the advice and recommnedations in these articles.

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