Why YOU Are Worth the Care You Give To Others

Have you ever noticed that many of us give so much of ourselves away that we forget to take care of ourselves? We rise for our friends, our families, our profession – and somewhere along this path, our own care recedes and gets put on the back burner. Caring for ourselves is not about stepping away from life or responsibilities, but is about stepping back into ourselves. Here is a gentle reminder that your well-being matters just as much as the well-being of those you nurture and care for.

What we used to think about self-care;

What do you think about when you hear the words self-care? What image or feelings come to mind? Is there a feeling of comfort and familiarity, or is it an energy that makes you feel resistant or disconnected?

In the past, self-care might have been code for being seen as selfish and self-centered. Maybe a little bit spoiled, or even slightly egotistical. If you practiced self-care, you may have actually hidden it from others, downplayed it, or just avoided it altogether. It seemed as though those who received the most respect and had the ‘important jobs’ were the least likely to practice any self-care. It almost even became a badge of honor. Promoting this idea that “I put everyone else ahead of me and wouldn’t for the life of me even consider my own self-care because that will surely take away from the things I am required to do for others”. An ingrained sense of a desire to achieve a sense of ‘selflessness’.

Luckily, this idea has changed over the last decade or so. Now, there is a little more flexibility, understanding, and even encouragement when it comes to this concept of self-love and care. I am glad that is the trend because research is showing just how crucial self-care really is for the developing, growing, and living human being. More people are coming to understand how self-care increases vitality, immunity, and strength. It also helps you build resistance to stress.

What is the true meaning of self-care?

Self-care can have many different meanings depending on who you are, what you know about it, and of course, the experiences you have had in your life around it.

Were you inspired towards random acts of self-care growing up or in your personal life or were you discouraged, shamed, or guilted toward neglecting and avoiding your own needs and desires for the sake of everyone else around you? That creates the perfect opportunity to become that people pleaser we have all heard so much about.

But the truth is that self-care is actually the tipping point. It is the core of where you have the energy to help others. To hold space with the people in your life who might challenge you. And the realisation that you can care for others better simply because you have filled your vessel first. In other words, where you have practiced self-care is where you are coming from a position of strength. You are now able to approach life with a calmer attitude because you have done the work and can hold space while others do theirs. That is you having boundaries and the courage to protect your own well-being.

Why self-care in real time?

The best way I can relay this is through the oxygen mask analogy. That works so well because it highlights this natural intuition most of us have to put others first, to be altruistic if you will. Think about the last time you were on an airline flight. You probably remember the attendants reminding you that in case of an emergency, to place your own oxygen mask on first before attempting to help anyone else you might be traveling with. They are sure to point out that this even means for your own child or disabled loved one! We want to fight this and say, “No way, would I care for me first! Of course, I am going to place the oxygen mask on my infant before I place it on myself…” That is a problem, though. The truth is that you might get it on, or you could literally pass out in the process of getting the oxygen mask completely secured. Either way, you don’t really know because you are now down for the count. Your child no longer has you to depend on, and the rest is up to fate.

How do you guarantee your precious child’s survival? Simple, you care for yourself FIRST! That’s right. You put your own oxygen mask on first. Then you will have the wherewithal to help your child, your loved one with special needs, your ailing parent, seat mate, or anyone else around you who may need help. You went from someone who may not be able to help anyone to a super person who cannot only help themselves but also everyone else.

Now apply this to everything in life.

Harness the power of self-care!

This power comes from knowing your own gospel and knowing your own limits. There is a freedom and flow in that you may have never experienced. You see, self-care provides a foundation you can now springboard from. That becomes a solid place you can stand on in every situation or circumstance. There is such a robustness that comes from self-love and care. It is wholly unmatched!

Nothing is more beautiful than having your needs met, your emotions cared for, and your physical body prioritized. This stance literally makes you unstoppable because you move through the disappointments and love yourself through the mistakes. It creates gratitude, positivity, and a real sense of optimism.

Why is self-care so important?

The truth is that YOU are the biggest reason why self-care is so important. It prioritizes YOU! It also decreases stress, builds confidence, and creates presence. Self-care fills your vessel. It helps you be more productive, focused, and grounded. The best part is that with self-care comes increased creativity, flow, and moments of brilliance. It helps you be a better person first to yourself, then to others. Need I say more?

The logical outcome is that you may begin to feel better in your body. Your health might improve. You could sleep better, feel more motivated, and be more productive. You might even get outside more frequently, move your body more easily, or eat better more consciously. The list goes on and on.

So, what does self-care mean to YOU?

Try going back to that image or feeling that I mentioned at the beginning. Does that invoke the same vibration as it did before, or did it change altogether? This nuance is important to recognize because how you understand self-care will make or break the way you care for yourself. Is it easy? Does this feel possible? Are you resistant? Or are you totally open? Get real and get clear. That will help you make it happen. It will help you to visualise what feels right and what types of acts you feel drawn to.

What are the best ways to practice self-care?

Self-care definitely includes things like baths, massages, walks in nature, or a little reading in the corner, but it can also be so much more than that. It is having grace for yourself so you can give that to others. It is the moment to feel gratitude in every cell of your body. It is being unapologetic with your nos. It is being willing to speak your truth and spotlight your own thoughts.

Self-care is resting before you fall or letting something go unfinished. It is being tender with yourself and also the re-parenting of you. Self-care can be seen by who and what you choose to spend your energy on, or how you protect and honour certain moments in your day. Self-care is allowing yourself the space to feel without the need to fix it. It is being willing to receive while also letting go of the need to earn your worth.

What are the benefits of self-care?

Self-care strengthens the relationship you have with yourself. It sends the message that “I matter”. It builds up your self-trust, increases your confidence, and supports your sense of inner safety. These types of practices create emotional resilience and will cancel out the noise of the world around you.

Self-care helps you regulate your nervous system. It is a built-in system enabling you to decrease tension and anxiety. That helps your body shift from survival mode into rest and repair, allowing for improved sleep and restored energy.

Self-care helps you to be more engaged, patient, and compassionate. Supporting healthy and connected relationships while also encouraging you to develop your own personal boundaries. Relationships thrive when you acknowledge your own limits. That will also help to reduce burnout and emotional exhaustion.

Self-care can be your official maintenance plan. That, in and of itself can prevent a lot of your stress buildup and help you avoid reaching your breaking point. Now you are sustaining your life, not just surviving it.

Self-care encourages you to live in alignment with what is important to you. When you tend to your inner world, you become more intentional. You get to choose what happens in your life and not just live through it.

So what does self-care mean to you?

The Importance of Self-Care: A Key to Better Health and Longevity by Midwest Clinical Research Center

What is Self-care and Why is it Important for You? By Southern New Hampshire University

Self-care research: Where are we now? Where are we going? By National Institute of Health

Photo by Taryn Elliott