When did you last stop to ask a stranger for directions? Exchange a few words with the person at the checkout? Chatted with the neighbour through the garden fence?
Some things change, quietly, invisibly, without us even noticing.
A recent study suggests we are “Sliding Into Silence?” We are using around 338 spoken words less (roughly the length of this article) every single day, every year, for at least the last 15 years. That’s over 120,000 words a year. It is both fascinating and sobering that nearly a quarter of our daily voice is lost. Gone!
Where Did the Words Go?
Did they vanish into thin air?
They slipped away through the tiny moments woven into everyday life. A silent scroll instead of a chat at the bus stop, an app order instead of a ‘good morning’ to the barista, a GPS rerouting us away from the chance to ask a local, a nod at the self-checkout … (Personal note regarding the check-out. A lot of them are automated now, and I will confess to having had a few too many colourful words with the self-checkout when ‘it’ kept repeating to me “Unexpected item in bagging area”! You know the feeling?!)
The participants in the research ranged in age from 10 to 94, so no age group was spared, and, as if that were not astonishing enough, the data ended in 2019, before a global pandemic quietly reshaped our habits and connections.
I have coined an evocative word for it (or perhaps two): “Wordloss”, the quiet disappearing of the spoken word from our days, our relationships and even sometimes, right from the middle of our own sentences, making us “Wordlonely”.
You might argue that we are writing more than ever (anyone belonging to a WhatsApp group here 😬?). You will not be surprised to learn that the study points out that typed words lack the “presence, tone and spontaneity” of a real exchange. Our vocal cords are like muscles, and as with any muscle, we “use it or lose it”!
But what really speaks to me is that the spoken words carry something typed words simply cannot convey. Presence. Warmth. Intonation. Accent. Variation. The pause, the slip of the tongue, the stumble before you find the right thing to say. That is where our humanity lives.
When we stop talking to the neighbour in the hallway or the stranger at the bus stop, we lose those micro-connections that anchor us not just to our community, but also to ourselves.
This month, I invite you to try these tiny experiments:
- Say something out loud that you might have otherwise typed, scrolled past or kept to yourself
- Initiate small talk
- Ask a question
- Offer a compliment or simply acknowledge the person in front of you
- Just let someone hear your voice (that ‘someone’ can be your pet, too!)
The world is very noisy, but on the other hand, quieter than it used to be. You get to change that if you “dare to be the change you want to see in your organisation, family, community and life!”
Words: Mathilde Barbier
Source: [1] Pfeifer, V. A. & Mehl, M. R. (2026). Sliding Into Silence? Perspectives on Psychological Science.
Recalibrate Your Internal Compass
1:1 Sessions
If you are navigating menopause, the always-on culture of screens and notifications can make an already heightened nervous system feel even more stretched.
We can work together to recalibrate your internal compass, find stillness amid the noise, identify what is truly pressing your buttons, and restore a sense of perspective and ease.
Because you deserve to feel well in your body and in your relationship with the world around you.
Dare to find your centre again!
Get in touch: mathilde [@] daretobethechange.today – 07947 319 362
Dear Phone, We Need to Talk!
Do you ever get the niggling feeling that you’re spending too much time on your phone?
Do you find yourself reaching for your device without even thinking about it?
Is it difficult to stop using your phone in the evenings and on weekends?
Join me for this 7-day exploration of the relationship you cultivate with your mobile phone (I make the double assumption here that you are a ‘mobile’ and ‘smart’ phone user).
More information and preview 👉 “Dear phone, we need to talk”.
Would You Like to Organise a Women’s Circle of Change in Your Local Community?
Life is a mosaic—beautiful, messy and ever-changing. Whether navigating life transitions, seeking community, reflection or wanting to be heard, this safe and nurturing women’s circle is for you.
We connect through authentic storytelling, finding wisdom and inspiration in each other’s experiences.
Let’s co-create a space where you and your guests can soften, breathe, express, explore and just be.
Get in touch: mathilde [@] daretobethechange.today – 07947 319 362
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