We’ve just entered a New Year and how many of you have already broken, or mentally dismissed one or more of your resolutions?

For so many of us this happens year after year. Millions of us vow to lose weight, quit smoking, stick to budgets, get fit and other such goals. Though within two weeks, or less, those resolutions are all but forgotten as we get caught up in the busyness of daily life, and our fresh enthusiasm for a new year, new start and new way of being is long gone.

Choose your resolutions wisely
We’re all encouraged to evaluate our lives and set new patterns around the New Year, however the way this is done can deliberately set you up to fall. Often this is because the expectation that you should set resolutions at this time of year is set up by an external influence such as bosses, or the fitness or slimming industries. Also there is often a sense of giving things up, or judgement about not having succeeded the previous year.

Typically these types of resolution have the word ‘must’ associated with them and this approach has a few pitfalls:

How committed are you to your resolution if you feel that you’ve been forced into it? The judgement and sense of giving things up attaches negative emotions to the resolutions, so they don’t seem fun or exciting. Is it any wonder then that so many people fail with New Year Resolutions before the end of January?

So why not embrace 2020 with things you choose to do rather than ought to do? Instead of bowing to the pressure to get fit or get thin, why not work out what is it you ‘really need’ more of in your life?

The ‘Circle of Life’
The ‘Circle of Life’, or the ‘Wheel of Life’, allows you to focus on improving various segments of your life, whilst giving you an overall picture of all the elements that comprise a ‘happy life’.

To use your ‘Circle of Life’ take the circle and place a dot on the line to indicate your level of satisfaction in each area. A dot toward the centre of the circle indicates dissatisfaction, and a dot toward the periphery indicates satisfaction. For example, if your social life is abundant, place a dot on the line somewhere toward the outside of the circle. As in the image, connect the dots to see your ‘Circle of Life’ and then you can identify imbalances. Once completed, this highlights areas in your life that you maybe need to spend more time and energy on to create a more balanced circle. You can use these as a starting point to your New Year Resolutions.

Setting the right goals is as easy as ABC!
Change is hard. Most of us don’t stop to think about that when we set goals for ourselves. We start out filled with passion, fire and excitement and a feeling that we can accomplish anything we desire, until we encounter the first of many obstacles along the way. We may struggle half-heartedly through the first couple, but eventually find ourselves making excuses, procrastinating and losing interest. Goal setting involves more than simply making a promise to do something. We need to equip ourselves with the right tools and, more importantly, the right mind-set to ensure success.

Find your why
If you don’t have a clear, strong reason for wanting to lose weight, quit smoking, etc., then you will have little, or no passion to fuel your efforts.

Ask yourself what you will gain by making changes and what you will gain by not making changes (because you are gaining something by keeping your bad habits around, otherwise you would have got rid of them already)! Understand it and acknowledge it. Then be honest with yourself and be clear about what you really want. Then simply follow the ABC:

Action
Set action goals not result goals! Setting a goal to lose 10Kg is not actually a goal at all, it’s the result. The goal should be to change what you are eating in such a way that will then result in the loss of weight. Crowding out the ‘bad’ with the ‘good’ is often the easiest way to do this, so for example increasing your vegetables whilst decreasing the carbohydrate content of a meal, may be one way of thinking about this. There needs to be a precise plan, which also needs to be small and achievable. Success builds on success.

As with everything, you need to treat the problem, not the symptom. Make a note of the outcome you want, and then list all the actions you need to do to get there. Then make the actions your goals. Be specific and set daily goals, mentally acknowledge and every so often reward yourself when you accomplish them. Remember, each day is an opportunity for victory, no matter how small.

Believe
Believe that you can and do deserve to accomplish your goals, dreams and desires. Many people struggle with low self-esteem and don’t believe that they deserve success. Unfortunately if you don’t believe you deserve success the chances of succeeding are low as you are likely to either unconsciously sabotage your own efforts or refuse to even try.

First seek to understand, then truly believe that you do deserve success and happiness. Use your imagination and feel into how it will be, what will you be doing and feeling once you have achieved your goal? How will you know you’ve achieved it? How will you feel? What will be different and why is this important? What would other people notice about you?

Commitment
The secret of success is belief and commitment to small goals which can be built on, even in the face of adversity.

When you look at successful people, doesn’t it seem like they have it easy? It’s easy to forget though, we’re seeing the end result, not the years of hard work, sacrifices, dedication and commitment that got them to where they are today. Ask any successful person and they will tell you of struggles against massive obstacles and setbacks, sometimes even having to start over again, repeatedly.

Are you that committed to your own goals? Will you persevere no matter what?

Make an intention to yourself that you will continue working towards your goals, even if you aren’t seeing the progress you hoped for as quickly as you would have liked. When obstacles arise, fuel your persistence with positive thoughts and keep moving forward. If you feel yourself slipping, be kind to yourself, that is the process of change, you just need to get back on track as quickly as you can.

As the song goes: “Nothing’s impossible I have found, for when my chin is on the ground, I pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again”.

Let your determination glow hot and bright and burn away all doubts and fears.

Patience is a virtue
Rome wasn’t built in a day and forming new habits takes time and practice. The good news is that many people have proven that anything is possible and if they can do it, so can you.

Give it your best shot, but don’t expect perfection from yourself. You will stumble and fall, so remember that anything worthwhile takes effort. Enjoy the process of creating new habits; this is the real achievement rather than the final goal. Let’s make 2020 your year!

Words: Helen Prosper

If you would like help with your emotional and or physical health so you can do more, be more and live more please contact Helen Prosper on 07545 227272,
email helen @livewellandprosper.uk or visit livewellandprosper.uk