Finding Light in the Darkness: A Journey Through Men’s Mental Health

When Jacob Dolley stood on the edge of a railway bridge one evening, he faced a decision that would alter the course of his life. In that moment, he could either succumb to the overwhelming despair or seek a path to healing. By some miracle, Jacob chose the latter. Today, I sit across from him in a local café, discussing the release of his new book, Calm After the Storm—a work that he holds with immense pride and gratitude.

As a parent of a teenager, I can only begin to fathom the anguish his parents must have felt when they learned the depths of his despair. For Jacob, opening up about his darkest thoughts and fears was an act of immense courage. As we chat about those days, I’m reminded of my own struggles during adolescence—dark thoughts I thought I was alone in facing. Perhaps, like me, many of us grapple with these challenges growing up, navigating the turbulent waters of puberty, hormones, academic pressures, and the quest to find ourselves.

For Jacob, support came in the form of a loving family and a therapist who encouraged him to express his emotions on paper. What began as a therapeutic exercise soon transformed into a lifeline—song lyrics that evolved into poetry. In school, poetry had seemed irrelevant, uninspiring. But in his darkest moments, it became a life line, guiding him out of despair.

Seeing Jacob’s enthusiasm as he talks about his poetry and the journey of creating his book, it’s hard to imagine that only a few years ago he was in such a dark place. The simple act of transferring his thoughts onto paper not only had a profound impact on his own life but has now become a tool through which he hopes to touch the lives of others. Calm After the Storm is more than just a collection of his thoughts, feelings, and experiences – it’s a movement—a powerful reflection of the impact of words, vulnerability, and hope.”

In addition to his writing, Jacob discovered a local event called ‘WordUp,’ an open mic night that welcomes songwriters, poets, and comedians to share their creative talents. He encourages everyone to find their own “thing,” emphasising that while poetry might not resonate with everyone, the act of putting feelings into words can be a powerful starting point. Poetry saved Jacob’s life, and now he hopes his poetry can inspire others, showing them that they are not alone, that there is always hope, and that they are deeply loved.

Before our meeting, I had the chance to listen to Jacob’s spoken word poem, Don’t Die Today; Die Tomorrow. It portrays a typical conversation between two friends but with a profound message on how to potentially save a life. Dedicated to Men’s Mental Health Month, the poem is featured in Calm After the Storm. Jacob highlights a harrowing statistic: by the time he finishes reading the poem, seven men will have taken their own lives—one every 40 seconds. This is a statistic that he is determined to change.

The poem is a poignant call to action, and I urge you to watch and share it. It may just save someone’s life. Jacob’s poetry has already made a significant impact, with individuals reaching out to thank him for sharing his journey and giving them the permission to be vulnerable. In a society where men are often taught to suppress their emotions and “tough it out,” Jacob’s work is a powerful reminder that opening up can be a lifesaving act.

Men’s mental health is an area that has been shrouded in silence for far too long. According to the World Health Organisation, men are three to four times more likely to die by suicide than women. This alarming statistic underscores the urgent need for more open conversations about mental health, particularly among men. Jacob’s story illustrates how vulnerability can lead to healing, offering a blueprint for others to follow.

Generations before us rarely spoke about mental health. The stigma attached to it was suffocating—admitting to struggling with mental health was often seen as a sign of weakness. But talking with Jacob gives me hope for the future. The younger generation is not afraid to confront their demons, to share their darkest thoughts, and in doing so, they are creating a ripple effect of hope. They are proving that no matter how deep the darkness, there is always light around the corner, a new adventure waiting to unfold.

As Jacob prepares to head off to university to further his studies in creative writing, he does so with a sense of purpose and excitement for the future. His writing has already touched many lives, and there’s no doubt it will continue to do so. By sharing his story, Jacob is not only helping to break the stigma surrounding men’s mental health, but he is also providing a lifeline to those who may feel lost and alone.

Jacob’s journey reminds us all that even in our darkest moments, there is a way forward, a path to healing, and a world of possibilities waiting just around the corner.

For more information and to explore Jacob’s work, visit Lightningpoems.com or follow him on Instagram @lightning.poems and TikTok @lightningpoems. Let his words be a source of inspiration and a reminder that we are never truly alone.