How to Deal with a Sudden Loss in the Family

Life is as uncertain as the direction the wind takes. You will never be fully prepared for when someone in the family passes away. While there are losses that are sorrowfully expected, there are others that occur abruptly. You can never underestimate the emotional toll of a sudden loss. It’s heart-wrenching to realize that a loved one is no longer there and you never had the chance to say goodbye or listen to their final farewell. 

The best way we can deal with loss is to move through grief and continue living. The person who passed away would have wanted their loved ones to make the most of their time. The only challenge is knowing how to pick up the pieces and rise above the sorrow after undergoing the necessary process of grieving. Here are a few ways you can deal with losing a family member abruptly.

1. Make time for your feelings

The worst thing you can do as you process the death of a loved one is to try and subdue your emotions. As much as you were busy arranging for the person’s funeral and reaching out to a burial or cremation service, you should set aside time to embrace what you’re feeling as grief sets in. It’s hard to stay strong when the person is the closest to your heart, so allow yourself a moment to cry if you have to. Take a much-needed respite after the funeral and give yourself as much time as you need to get back on track. 

2. Handle grief and blame properly

Along with sadness, you may also go through a period of blaming others and feeling a sense of guilt over the sudden loss. This leads to a lot of anger and frustration that’s difficult to get out of, especially when you feel the loss was preventable.

However, holding on to that thought will only make it difficult for you to move on as you subject yourself to an endless cycle of regret and blame. Escaping this situation would involve accepting the sudden loss and being honest to yourself in admitting that your response is merely irrational. Doing so will help you on the path to forgiveness and, more importantly, peace of mind.

3. Reconnect with your loved ones

A sudden death should help you acknowledge the temporality of life. You only have so much time to spend with family members and friends so it matters that you make the most of it. As a response to the loss, provide comfort to your remaining loved ones and help them get through the experience. Show compassion and rebuild severed ties with people who were also close to the person you lost. This makes grieving less emotionally burdensome knowing that you’re not the only one immensely affected.

4. Say goodbye on your terms

You may suffer from the fact that you didn’t say farewell to a loved one who passed away and it could be difficult to wrap your head around it. In this case, it helps if you can come up with a meaningful routine that reconciles your emotions. For one, you can light a candle every night and say a prayer for the individual and the people they left behind. You can also “talk” to them through a journal where you can write the things you would’ve said to them. This will help you cope and gradually accept the loss. 

Endnote

It’s hard enough to see a family member slowly pass away, but it’s a different experience when you go through a sudden tragedy. Remember this guide and overcome the loss with a new outlook. 

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