The invisible load: Planning as a Neurodivergent Adult

Have you ever opened your planner, stared blankly at the page, closed it again, and decided to “wing it”?

Planning, for neurodivergent adults, is not just about jotting down dentist appointments and color-coding your calendar.

It’s a complex dance of executive functioning, emotional regulation, and an often invisible weight that makes the whole thing feel… overwhelming.

What’s going on behind the frustration and feelings of helplessness?

The hidden neurodivergent planning tax

People say; “Make a todo list, it’s easy” but, what happens when you forget about the todo list? Or even worse?

You forget about the todo list that reminded you about the todo list?

For many it means going to bed, overthinking everything that was forgotten throughout the day and losing sleep which only makes things worse leading into a repeating cycle of forgetfulness, lack of sleep, and overwhelming emotions – making everything harder as time goes on..

It can be exhausting, not just for you but for those trying to support you through everything.

Sound familiar? Keep reading.

Looking at what executive dysfunction is

What you’re feeling isn’t laziness – it’s something called ED. Before your mind starts wondering what we mean by ED, we mean Executive Dysfunction.

Executive dysfunction isn’t the same for everyone but it is a very real challenge associated with being ADHD, Autistic, Epileptic or neurodivergent, but, it can affect everyone – not just those living with neurodivergence. It’s one of those terms that sounds like it belongs in a corporate HR manual. But for neurodivergent folks, it’s just life and all we know.

It’s what happens when your brain goes, ‘Hmm, yeah… no,’ to basic tasks – like replying to a message, starting the laundry, or finally doing that one thing you’ve been avoiding since last September.

Here’s how it might show up in your day-to-day life:

• Difficulty starting tasks, even ones you care about
• Feeling overwhelmed and unsure where to begin
• Needing pressure or external motivators just to get going
• Trouble breaking big tasks into smaller, doable steps
• Underestimating or overestimating how long things take
• Forgetting what you were doing halfway through doing it
• Getting “stuck” on one task, or jumping between too many
• Struggling to shift gears or recover when plans change
• Losing track of time (hello, 3-hour scroll session)
• Regularly running late despite best intentions
• Feeling mentally frozen or “foggy” when overwhelmed
• Overreacting to small problems or interruptions
• Finding it hard to regulate emotions or bounce back from frustration
• Frequently burning out after everyday responsibilities
• Not realizing when something isn’t working until it’s too late

If you’re nodding your way through that list; We want to say you’re not broken – you’re operating with a different kind of brain and just need a slightly different approach to juggling the pressures of life

Executive dysfunction doesn’t show up the same for everyone. 

In ADHD, it might be task paralysis or time blindness. In autism, it could look like trouble shifting routines or recovering from sensory overload. In epilepsy or brain injury, it can come with memory hiccups and fatigue. Different brains = different roadblocks.

Traditional Planners Don’t Speak Our Language

Most planners are designed for neurotypical brains that love straight lines, tight schedules and everything organised in boxes.

You open them up, and they’re just… rows, columns and grids.

But for neurodivergent folks, these layouts can feel like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube blindfolded. They’re rigid, overwhelming, and they assume your brain will work the same way every day.

Spoiler: it won’t.

Visual Planning = Clarity Without the Chaos

Neurodivergent brains often, but not always, process information better visually.

Think color, space, icons, shapes  –  not endless bullet points, grid layouts and corporate style layouts that are often bland and uninviting.

Visual planning gives you a bird’s-eye view of your time in a way that is quick to recognise when you’re in a rush which is likely always!

It’s not just “what” you’re doing – it’s how it fits together.

You can see your day laid out before you, which helps with time blindness, task switching, procrastination and the all-important sense we have all experienced of, what now?

Visual planning is much like laying out puzzle pieces before you start. You don’t need to guess where everything goes, you can spot the gaps and the patterns making it easy to find a piece that fits.

Gentle Planning Tips That Won’t Break Your Brain

Let’s talk strategy – but kindly. Here are five low-pressure ways to plan without frying your neurons:

• Task Batching
   Group similar tasks together (e.g., all emails in one sitting). Reduces context switching, which is a big energy suck.
• Time Blocking With Built-In Breaks
   Plan your day in chunks, and make space to rest – on purpose. Even five minutes between tasks can reset your brain.
• “Done Is Better Than Perfect” Mindset
   Progress counts more than polish. That half-done thing? Still counts. Keep moving.
• Flexible Scheduling
   Have a plan, but let it breathe. Leave buffer zones. Rearrange guilt-free if life happens (because it will).
• Plan One Day (or Hour) at a Time
   Weekly planning is nice in theory, but overwhelming in practice. Sometimes, zooming in is the only way forward.
• Use all-in-on apps
  Juggling ten different apps just to remember lunch? No thanks. Simplify with a single assistive app – like Thruday – that’s built for neurodivergent brains and designed to reduce overwhelm, not add to it.

You’re Not Broken, The System Is

Productivity isn’t about squeezing every drop of output from yourself like a sad little lemon. It’s about finding rhythms that work for you – even if they look nothing like the “rise and grind” culture the world seems obsessed with.

Your brain isn’t wrong. It’s wired differently. And planning isn’t about controlling chaos – it’s about offering your future self a little peace.

So next time you stare at your planner and sigh, remember: you’re not lazy. You’re living in a world that’s just learning how to catch up to how your brain works.