Unstructured time: how to create self-care that works
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- September 21, 2025
About the Author
Yulia Abramova,MA in clinical psychotherapy from Lomonosov Moscow State University in Russia and MA in Somatic Psychotherapy from Californian Institute of Integral Studies, San Francisco, CA. Associate Marriage and family Therapist (AMFT) number pending. Associate Professional Clinical Counselor (APCC) number pending.
Yulia currently works at the Process Therapy Institute under supervision of Jennifer Weisse, MFT. With more than 16 years in the psychological field and 10 years of practice with clients and groups, Yulia helps people discover gentle, sustainable approaches to wellbeing and self-care. In this article, she shares how creating unstructured time can transform the way we experience self-care.
Have you ever felt like self-care is just another exhausting task on your to-do list? It is known that self-care is essential and absolutely necessary to thrive in a busy day-to-day life. Thinking about self-care, people often imagine good sleep, healthy food, some kind of movement, meditation and social connection. However, even doing an effort to follow self-care ideas, people may continue feeling exhausted and soon self-care just becomes another task on the to-do list to be completed. People include self-care in the tight plan of their life, rushing from massage to the therapist and then back to work. The difficulty with self-care being helpful lies not within “wrong actions”, it is within the way they are organized: preplanned, paced, squeezed between everything else. Unstructured time in emptiness and not-doing can be the missing piece to make self-care work.
1. Unstructured hours
Unstructured hours are ones, where there is no specific activity or event being planned, even if potentially enjoyable once. Unstructured time is an empty couple of hours in the schedule open to whatever might arise, even if that would be laying on the sofa/staring in the window/playing with the dog. Having open unstructured time within the week, allows Default Mode Network (DMN), a network in the brain which is involved in self-reflection, mindfulness, processing and planning to switch on and do its work. During this unstructured time, when the brain doesn’t have to care for safety or perform a task, the real rest and integration may happen. For example, instead of scheduling a yoga class after work, try leaving two hours completely open – sometimes you may end up lying on the couch, other times sketching a new idea in your notebook. This might lead to a state of creativity, insightfulness, new ideas and lift of energy.
2. Any kind of activity
Within unstructured time any activity, when being performed with Default Mode Network being activated can become a self-care practice. Self-care doesn’t necessarily mean meditating or performing a sport or cooking healthy food. Meditation being performed as a “had to do” task can become a burden. Massage, manicure, nature walk, all of that being preplanned without taking a moment and letting the body choose what is wanted right now may bring more frustration and exhaustion rather than rest. Together with that, drinking a cup of tea/reading a book/laying on the bed/ even scrolling instagram can be a self-care when performed from the right state.
On the other hand, even something as simple as drinking a cup of tea, reading a book, lying on the bed, or scrolling Instagram can become true self-care when it arises naturally from this state of openness. Within the unstructured time it is helpful to wait and listen for what the body might long for at this moment of the day and week. This can significantly vary from one day to the other. One day, one may feel the need to lay down, the other day to have a walk or a run, another time to call a friend or on the contrary switch off the phone for a couple of hours. There is no right or wrong. It is important that there is an unstructured time, which gives space for the impulse relevant for the moment to occur.
Conclusion
Allow yourself to experiment with unstructured hours this week. Notice what naturally arises when you give your mind and body permission to pause. You may discover that the most nourishing self-care is often the simplest.
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