We carry so much silently inside our bodies. Sometimes we even find ourselves having to turn off just to keep up. This ‘turn off’ oftentimes results in disconnection, abandonment, and self-neglect just to get through the day. We become the very last to have our needs met and the first to carry the weight for everyone else. We end up on the back burner while we put all our time, effort, and energy into anything that’s not us.
What Begins to Feel Normal That Should Not?
Time low, no worries, we’ll skip bath, food, therapy, fun… You name it, we lose it. If everything is not set up just right, we become the sacrifice – every time. We lose ourselves in the process and sometimes don’t ever come back.
This isn’t fair or right, but it has certainly become the status quo for so many women today. This becomes the pattern we now live in. Every day turns into every month, which turns into every year.
We are lost and betrayed, and no longer feel at home in our very own lives.
We slowly begin to lose our peace, possibility, and hope for the future. We set aside any memories of what and who we used to be or were supposed to be is gone in what feels like forever.
Stress and burnout create a life of their own, and all you can do is the minimum just to get by. This
chronic stress leads to emotional numbing just to survive. Hyper-productivity is the only thing left on the table.
This is how women slowly disappear from themselves.
The Price of Disconnection
This disconnection for survival costs us our peace, trust, presence, and truth. Because stopping our feelings can feel like the only way to survive. We have betrayed ourselves and then stop the feeling just to protect us from the pain of the truth.
Before long, we are completely disconnected from our intuition, body wisdom, and inner calm.
This becomes the new normal. We no longer recognize ourselves but notice peace within others. But we feel like empty shells of what we used to be.
This is what happens when the body is treated like the least important ‘thing’ in the room.
Rebuilding Trust With Your Body
First and foremost, it requires acknowledgment that something is not right. Things need to shift or change for your betterment. If you can’t see that, you won’t see where to adjust. But if you look deep, into your soul… You will know. This is a worthy endeavor, and you are the only one who can do it.
It starts with the realization that this is no longer sustainable. What once felt necessary no longer feels safe. You start to make little adjustments here and there. New intentions of where you fall on the line of importance. Small choices that begin to include you. Keeping the agreements you have made with yourself. That is really the key. No longer maintaining the status quo and instead choosing you, now and every time. It gets easier and easier and feels more right with every turn.
It’s not to say that you are no longer available to others, your family, friends, and most important people in your life; it is just no longer at your expense.
What would safety actually feel like?
If you are lucky enough to let the fog lift, you then begin the work of rebuilding trust with yourself and your body. Finding new habits and patterns that lead to a path back to you.
Because you have been frozen for so long, the only way back is slow and steady. This is what your nervous system can handle, and all you have to do is begin to listen…
Listening Inward
With time and practice, that gentle voice that used to be for everyone and everything but you… is now online. You have gone full circle and know what it is like to abandon yourself, and now you know what it is like to find yourself again.
This does not happen without truly going within. You have to take those moments and be with yourself in the discomfort. Because when you truly inwardly listen, your body will have a lot to say. It will communicate with you exactly what it needs to be stable and whole from this point on.
You might take a few steps forward and then a few back again, but that is exactly how the process of development works, and if you hold space with yourself, you will move forward and start the healing process.
Gentle Healing
Here is the thing: we are self-healing and self-correcting beings. Our bodies are always looking for balance, whether we realize that in our current circumstances or not. We subconsciously seek this out on every occasion. It is the analyzing that gets in our head, and the disbelief or story we hold about ourselves, our health, and our future that sabotages the process.
You see, gentle healing is really the key, because gentle will hold you, support you, and be the very thing that makes your healing possible. The harder you push, focus on, or resist the process, the sicker you become.
So, you make gentle changes in your diet, not so much that you shock your system. You can ease into daily movement, address your stress better, and take time for yourself. Put on your own oxygen mask, every single day. You begin to prioritize sleep and move towards the things that better regulate your nervous system. Maybe you do something you have been wanting to do, or get back to journaling, making music, daily walks, or consciously bring in more joy, and more time for you and the things you love.
Embodiment
What can now become familiar, safe, regular, and all-inclusive. Does this mean you are through healing and you’re never going to struggle again? Not necessarily, but this does become your new embodiment. What would happen if your new normal embodied you as the priority? You have morphed into someone who values their own self-care and love.
Did you know that when you put on your oxygen mask first, you are able to help so many more people around you? I know this can feel counter intuitive for us caregivers. But that’s what got us here to begin with. This idea, or notion, that we are the ones to make it better for everyone.
If you embody the same energy for yourself as you have for those in the world around you… You would find that you still hold all the pieces together. That you are just as capable and able to support those you love, just not at the expense of you, your health, your sanity, and your life.
- About the Author
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Cece James BS, HHP, CAWK, Clinical EFT Certified Practitioner , Certified Toxicity & Detox Specialist
Cece James is the founder of the Institute for Healing and Holistic Living. She has been in the field of health and wellness for almost 3 decades. She is passionate about her mission to bring healing strategies to others and create a loving culture of self-care.
Cece supports individuals and families facing chronic illness or other health challenges as well as empowers those who are interested in learning to navigate the terrain of whole foods, holistic lifestyle, supplements and the use of various natural remedies.
She truly believes that everyone has what they need to heal inside them right now. Through experience and conversation, she explores the various ways in which a holistic lifestyle can enrich and integrate into any current view of health and thus optimize ones true balance and vitality.
