When your friend is experiencing drug abuse, you may want to do everything you can to assist them. Remember that you have to accept them for who they are, and it is absolutely okay not to be able to do everything.
There is a lot that goes on in the life of a person experiencing addiction and going through recovery. They might be dealing with a ton of emotions, changing their lifestyle, going to appointments, or trying to figure out how to occupy their time in sober ways.
They could be searching for drug rehab mesa or any other type of help, while you are trying to decide how you can support them.
You don’t need to find answers for everything
Simple support is often the best support. “I am glad you told me. I am here for you,” you can say to let them know that they can rely on you. Don’t make every conversation about the person’s addiction. Ask if they want to go out for coffee, have a walk, go to the movies or a restaurant – any regular activity that makes them feel good about themselves.
Don’t try to control everything they do
As an empathic and caring friend, you may feel like you have a responsibility to keep them sober. But constantly checking their phone or asking whether they did drugs that day might make the person feel like they cannot trust you. Instead, try to ask them how you can support them in your conversations. They may have specific needs, such as your presence after a tough day, or help with something else, like going to the movies on the weekend. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, stopping drug use is only one part of recovery, and treatment has to deal with a person’s health, social, family and work needs, not just the substance. Therefore, it is essential to be patient and persistent in supporting them.
Set healthy boundaries with your friend
Being supportive does not mean that you have to sacrifice your principles and values. It is totally okay to refuse to lend money, lie for them, or do other things they may ask you to do. “I care about you, but I cannot cover for you at work,” “I can help you find rehab, but I cannot pay for it,” are some of the things you can say. Setting such boundaries may be hard, but it is the right thing to do.
Remind them of the importance of creating a support system
While friends are an essential part of the support system, they are not the only one. In fact, having a few people to talk to is much better than having one friend. Encourage your friend to be more open-minded towards their family, as well as other types of support, such as help from a community center. Having a strong support system will help them feel less lonely and abandoned and give them more motivation to fight their addiction.
Be positive about their sobriety
Going through sobriety is not an easy task for your friend. They may have good days and bad days almost every day for a while. Do not shame them for having cravings or slip-ups. Instead of saying, “You should be over this by now,” you can encourage them by saying, “I can see how hard you are working at staying sober!” It is important to celebrate their successes, such as maintaining a job, going to therapy, having a good day, or getting closer to old friends in a healthy way.
Don’t forget your own life
Supporting someone through recovery can be draining, and it is easy to put your own life on hold while you do it. Don’t. You still need your own sleep, your own work, your own friends, and time when you are not thinking about somebody else’s problems. Feeling guilty about that is normal, but it does not mean you are doing something wrong. In fact, a friend who is burnt out is not much use to anybody. If it starts to feel heavy, talk to someone about it, such as a counselor, a support group for families and friends, or simply a person you trust. It is totally okay to need help yourself, even though you are not the one in recovery.
Conclusion
Supporting a friend through recovery is not about fixing them. It is about being there, being honest, and being consistent while they build their own life. You are allowed to have a life of your own while you do it. In fact, taking care of yourself is what makes you able to keep supporting them.
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Our Editorial Team are writers and experts in their field. Their views and opinions may not always be the views of Wellbeing Magazine. If you are under the direction of medical supervision please speak to your doctor or therapist before following the advice and recommendations in these articles.
