Humans are natural storytellers. Stories help us make sense of our world, and we need to be able to tell them.
However, in our ever-noisier online world, actually finding someone to hear our story is getting increasingly difficult, and often, when we finally get a chance to share our story, it is met with an opinion, or some unrequested advice, resulting in us feeling even more unheard! So, the cycle goes on.
As a therapist I have witnessed again and again the healing power of being heard. Hence listening with unjudgmental gentle presence is an important part of what A Touch of Gentleness offers.
When we are truly heard by another, we can actually hear ourselves better. The need to be heard is one of the most basic, yet potent needs we have as social beings.
When we have been listened to, and truly heard, we feel validated.
When we feel heard we feel understood on the deepest level.
We feel respected, even if our views and opinions may differ to those who are listening.
Having our true selves accepted for who we really are is vital for our healthy emotional and psychological stability. It makes us feel connected and accepted. Safety is found in connection, and it is in connection that we can find healing.
When we are listened to with compassion and without judgement, we are able to let go of the grip that our stories hold on us, and in doing so we create a space for new thoughts, experiences, perspectives and updated stories to emerge.
As we work towards a more peaceful world, being able to freely tell our stories without the fear of being judged or dismissed is an important step in healing our splintered selves and world.
Below is a wonderful illustration of the healing that can occur when we are heard.
“During the Truth and Reconciliation Commission hearings in South Africa, many of those who testified to the atrocities they had endured under apartheid would speak of being healed by their own testimony. They knew that many people were listening to their story. One young man who had been blinded when a policeman shot him in the face at close range said: “I feel what has brought my eyesight back is to come here and tell the story. I feel what has been making me sick all the time is the fact that I couldn’t tell my story. But now it feels like I’ve got my eyesight back by coming here and telling you the story.”
As people share their stories, they are not only benefitting themselves but also those who hear them. Stories hold meaning for those who have shared similar experiences and feelings, and through hearing other’s stories they may gain a slightly different perspective, new insights, learnings and know they are not ‘the only one who…..’ Or maybe the story opens up a completely new experience and view point giving the listener a whole new landscape from which they can view the world.
Helen Prosper
Counsellor & Play Therapist
Founder of A Touch of Gentleness CIC
07545 227272
