It Must be Love … Love … Love

Late at night, when sleep eludes you, and hot flashes strike, thank goodness for your faithful companion. Glowing softly in the darkness, your smartphone is part friend, part distraction, part survival tool.

Let’s be honest: our phones have become our modern-day security blankets, haven’t they? Even though it feels a little weird admitting it, research shows that many of us have developed an emotional affinity with our smartphone, which has a reassuring presence in our daily lives. Acting as adult pacifiers*, they provide feelings of psychological comfort and even stress relief when needed, like a child’s blanket or favourite soft toy.

Each notification and each gentle scroll release oxytocin, the same love hormone that gives us a warm feeling when we hug loved ones or stroke our pets. Who knew our rectangular friends could be such skilled hormone whisperers?

But here’s the thing. While our phones can offer genuine comfort during anxiety spikes, mood swings, and sleepless nights, they are, of course, a plaster, not a cure. A little like the friend who brings ice cream during a crisis, very helpful and welcome in the moment, but not quite addressing the root cause, and perhaps more significantly, what happens if your phone is not at arm’s reach … more panic? 

Be Aware 

Just hold your phone in your hand. Close your eyes. Feel its weight in your hand. Notice how your breathing changes and how your shoulders feel. Do you feel a sense of attachment to your smartphone?

Practice Self-Care

It’s fascinating how this piece of technology has become our go-to comfort object, isn’t it? 

But like any relationship, it’s all about balance. Our phones can be a wonderful ally through a woman’s mid-life transformative time, but they are just one tool in our wellbeing tool kit.

Dare to explore ways to boost your “Love hormone” naturally and tech-free. Try some of the following:

• Hug someone for at least 20 seconds
• Pat your favourite animal friend
• Call a loved one and actively listen
• Massage your own hands, rub them, stretch them
• Make eye contact with people
• Laugh
• Listen to your favourite music, sing or dance
• Speak words of gentleness, compassion, appreciation

Start small. Be gentle with yourself. Watch how real-world connections can transform your wellbeing, one tech-free moment at a time and dare to be the change you want to see in your organisation, family, community and life!

Words: Mathilde Barbier

*References: Melumad, S. and Pham, M. (2020) ‘The Smartphone as a Pacifying Technology’, Journal of Consumer Research, 47.

Living Gently, No Matter What

You’ve reached that phase in life where:

• your thermostat is more unpredictable than the weather
• your brain as foggy as the South Downs on a winter morning 
• your mood swings as vertiginous as the pendulum ride on Brighton Pier

Mid-life doesn’t have to be wild and mad!

Old stories and past traumas often resurface during menopause, bringing unexpected emotional landscapes. Together, we can turn these unfamiliar territories into a gentle self-discovery, mastering your inner pressure cooker with grace!

I can offer you 1-1 personalised coaching and emotional transformation.

Yes, it is time to be MAD (Mastering Adaptable Determination & Making A Difference)

Get in touch: [email protected] – 07947 319 362