Unravelling the Layers: Reinventing Ourselves at Every Stage of Life

At each stage of our lives, there are milestones, and with every milestone, clarity begins to unfold. As women, we often move through life ticking the boxes—building careers, nurturing families, and meeting societal expectations—but beneath the surface, many of us quietly wonder, who am I really? What if the life we’ve curated so carefully doesn’t fully represent who we are or who we want to become?

This very question—“Who am I?”—is one that many women are asking as they navigate new chapters in their lives, fuelled by self-discovery, reinvention, and bold choices. Over the past few months, I’ve met some extraordinary women, each with their own story of transformation, and one in particular—author Preethi Nair—stands out as someone who has consistently redefined herself, unapologetically stepping outside her comfort zone to embrace new possibilities.

As Nair prepares to release her fourth novel, Unravelling, I had the pleasure of sitting down with her to explore the personal journey that inspired her latest work. Her personal story is one of resilience, creativity, and the audacity to ask the “what if” questions that so many of us shy away from.

Redefining the Rules: A Journey of Self-Discovery

Born into an immigrant family with rigid ideas about career and success, Nair’s path was anything but traditional. She began her career as a management consultant, navigating the corporate world while secretly harbouring a desire to write. Like many women, she felt the weight of family expectations, the belief that success was defined by stability and conventional achievement. “Writing was never in the list of things I was supposed to do,” she recalls. So, she lived a double life—pursuing her passion in secret while maintaining a corporate facade.

Her first novel was met with rejection by every publisher, and as fate would have it, she was also made redundant from her job. Unable to admit this failure to her family, she pretended to go to work each day while secretly plotting a bold new chapter. Armed with an unshakeable belief in her dream, Nair made the decision to self-publish her first book and promote it herself—going so far as to create an alter ego, a fictional publicist who helped her break into the literary world. Eventually, her determination paid off, leading to a three-book deal with HarperCollins.

Yet even after achieving this dream, Nair found herself back in familiar territory—feeling safe, successful, but disconnected from her true self. “I had a great career, I got married, we bought a house—all in the same year. But I felt like I’d left my wild side behind,” she explains. She was thriving by external standards, but something inside her was missing: that willingness to take risks, to dive into the unknown.

The Courage to Step Outside the Box

Nair’s next breakthrough came through a series of conversations with women in their 50s—women who, by all appearances, had “perfect” lives. They had curated everything to appear successful: families, careers, homes. But as Nair delved deeper, she realised that if you pulled at the thread of these perfect lives, their stories began to unravel.

Inspired by these encounters, Nair wrote a one-woman play about women in their 50s confronting their deepest desires and untold regrets. But in a world that often devalues women as they age, she was met with resistance. There was no appetite for a play about a middle-aged woman, she was told.

So, in true Nair fashion, she decided to produce the show herself. Having never acted before, she booked a West End theatre 18 months in advance and trained intensely to prepare. “I didn’t have a goal beyond stepping outside my comfort zone and overcoming my own self-limiting beliefs,” she recalls. It was terrifying, exhilarating, and ultimately life-changing, and proving once again that if you push beyond your limits, anything is possible.

Finding the Wildness Within

What’s striking about Nair’s journey is how deeply it resonates with the broader experience of so many women. At some point, we all reach a crossroads, where safety and stability collide with a desire to reclaim the wild, creative spirit that fuels our joy. For Nair, creativity is her way of staying alive, of reconnecting with that essential part of herself. For others, it might be something entirely different—whether that’s traveling, starting a business, or simply trying something new. But the message is the same: “We must all find our thing that makes us feel alive.”

It’s easy to stay in the comfort zone, especially as we get older. We have responsibilities, families, and the pressure to maintain the lives we’ve built. But Nair’s story challenges us to ask: What are we sacrificing in exchange for that comfort? What might happen if we took a chance on ourselves again?

Unravelling: A Story of Love, Identity, and What Could Have Been

Nair’s latest novel, Unravelling, builds on these very themes. The protagonist, Bhanu, appears to have it all: a loving family, a beautiful home, and a life that is, on the surface, perfect. But on the eve of her 40th wedding anniversary, her first love re-enters her life, offering her the chance to leave everything behind and start over.

It’s a powerful exploration of identity, the choices we make, and the haunting question of “what if?”—a question that lingers at the edge of every life, no matter how curated or seemingly perfect it may be.

“I wanted to explore the gap between what we present to the world and what’s really going on inside,” Nair says. “Bhanu’s story is universal—it’s about love, regret, and the search for happiness. I wanted to give a voice to an older woman and show that it’s never too late to begin again.”

Nair turned down a book deal from HarperCollins to maintain creative control over Unravelling, choosing once again to self-publish. It was a bold decision, one rooted in the same independence and fearlessness that have defined her career from the start.

Embracing the Journey

As we conclude our conversation, I find myself deeply inspired by Nair’s story—a reminder that, whatever our age, we have the power to redefine our lives, to take risks, and to rediscover who we truly are. Nair’s journey isn’t just about writing or career success; it’s about embracing life’s uncertainties and finding joy in the unknown.

As women, we are constantly evolving, and with each milestone comes new clarity. Nair encourages us to be brave enough to ask the hard questions, to pull at the threads of our own carefully curated lives, and to dare to imagine something different. Because the truth is, it’s never too late to unravel the life you have and weave something new.

Unravelling will be available in paperback (£10.99) at all good bookshops and online retailers on 27th September 2024.